Many of us suffer from the crippling fear of having the ‘tough’ conversations which stand in the way of creating the life that we crave. Some of these conversations include asking for that raise that will monumentally change your standard of living, asking to be able to work remotely so you can have the freedom to travel, selling yourself through your own personal brand or products or simply convincing people that your idea is the one that they should roll with.

We caught up with Jason Campbell, author of “Selling With Love” and creator of the “Superhumans at Work” podcast to talk about how mastering communication is the key to ultimate fulfillment and having the life you desire. In addition to his own passion projects regarding sales, Jason has spent the last year traveling the world while working as the marketing and sales leader for Mindvalley. 

Jason tells us about how learning the ability of sales early on in life was influential for his ability to create the life he wanted – “once you understand the power of sales, you can start being much more in control of a lot of things in your life.” 

The ability to eloquently express your needs and desires is one of the most important factors involved in getting what you want out of your lifestyle. Jason was able to leverage his sales ability to renegotiate his contract, allowing him to work remotely, move to Thailand and drop his cost of living by a third, finding himself in a more abundant position without having to ask for a salary raise. 

The ‘sales’ process has implications for everything, not just how much money you make. For instance, it was instrumental in his relationships as it’s primarily about what Jason refers to as “an energy exchange”. 

We asked Jason to give some advice to our readers on how to approach the sometimes uncomfortable conversations in life or how to “sell” your desires – for instance, how to conduct the conversation with your employer around allowing you to work remotely or get that raise that you want. Jason explains how there are 4 ‘emotional levels’ or steps you must move through in order to ‘sell with love’ or be able to efficiently, eloquently and successfully ‘sell yourself’ or get what you want. 

Step 1: Guilt, shame, self-sabotaging, feelings of imposter syndrome. 

Thoughts like “if I ask for this I am a bad person and I am feeling shame and guilt for wanting to ask.” Jason tells us that we get stuck in this phase mainly because of conditioning in our childhood from hearing ‘no’ early on. To evolve past this level, Jason suggests doing inner work to examine the situations that would have been instrumental in instilling the belief of ego or inner child that ‘selling’ will ultimately lead to rejection, pain or loss of love. He also points out that if you have resistance to the idea of ‘sales’ people for some other reason – for instance, you think they are sleazy or immoral – then this is something you need to work through as well. 

Step 2: Fear and scarcity but also pride and curiosity or wanting to ‘prove’ yourself

This is where you start saying “hey, I made a sale and that felt good…” You’re not necessarily at the place of abundance yet, but you’re starting to get a sense that you have more control in your life. The risk of level 2, Jason says, is that you can be unaware of the impact of what your selling is, you can be selling from a selfish place or “you are not doing it from the intention of serving”. Which can come back to haunt you in the future, because you will ultimately feel empty afterward if what you are doing is unethical. So before you begin to sell something, try it out yourself, do you really believe in the value the product or service has to offer? 

Step 3: Rationality

This is the phase where “you start really preparing the data, thinking that it’s the data which is going to close the sale”  Some examples of data sharing are listing out all of your skills and employment history. You want to move from an ‘I” mentality and into a “we” mentality. How are you going to help them, what is the mutual benefit and value that you are bringing to the table? 

This is where people start to develop a lot of self-awareness and become super conscious of the value of what they are selling. The problem with this is that you start doubting or second-guessing the value of what you are trying to sell, which affects your ability to make the sale, therefore driving your ‘abundance’ down. According to Jason, people don’t buy with their mind, they buy with their emotions. So this step is particularly problematic and is usually where people get stuck. 

If you are feeling some fear and hesitation Jason shares a fun little shortcut to get over emotions that stand in the way of you communicating effectively and making a sale. Find a charity that you believe in and do some cold calls ask for funds or donations. This allows you to practice presenting an idea, asking for money and getting over the fear of rejection and help out a good cause. It’s a win-win! 

Step 4: Love

This is the sweet spot for sales, where you have done your research and you’ve ensured there’s an even energy exchange that you can put your emotion behind. “Become clear on the impact you make with the work you do, know that what you’re giving is more than what you’re asking… then you can step into the place.” This is where you want to be, where you are now selling out of an energy of ‘love’. 

Jason will soon be releasing his book “Selling With Love”, so keep an eye out for that if you want to learn more about how to improve your sales game. He has also welcomed readers to reach out to him on social media @jason.campbell with any questions, queries or comments. 

When the words ‘digital nomad’ are uttered, most people will bring to mind Insta-worthy images of the coveted laptop lifestyle, cocktails by the pool and traveling the globe while living it large. Given the supposed glamour and swoon-worthy depiction of being a digital nomad, it is no surprise that – according to this site – 50% of the workforce will be remote by 2020.

But for some, the ‘digital nomad’ life is about so much more than living one big endless holiday. It is about freedom, breaking the constraints of societal expectations, pursuing a life you are passionate about and taking an (often terrifying) leap which allows you to escape the confines of your office, your cushy 9-5 and your rinse and repeat lifestyle.

We caught up with Tarek Kholoussy to talk about breaking the mold and taking the leap from corporate into a digital nomad lifestyle as a social entrepreneur who wants to positively impact the Earth.

Tarek has an impressive history, graduating from Georgetown and receiving NBA Honours from NYU. His journey to becoming a social entrepreneur and digital nomad began while he was working in strategic leadership in the corporate landscape in New York City. He tells us how, despite having a stable corporate career and educational accolades, “I was finding myself less excited and less motivated in what I was doing”. I am sure many of our readers can relate to this sentiment.

Nomads Giving Back came as an answer to his inner-search for a more meaningful and fulfilling life, a need to do something real to help and make a lasting impact on the Earth and a string of events and synchronicities that led him on this path.

In 2012 – while still working in corporate – he had four moments over a few months that challenged him and acted like a wake-up call, setting him up on an entirely new trajectory in his life. Tarek shares how witnessing the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy – where he lived – along with his closely-aged cousin’s untimely passing significantly opened his eyes to the “real problems” and struggles people face, along with being presented with the reminder of his mortality.

Faced with these events, Tarek began to ask himself – “What am I going to do with the time that I have on this Earth?”.

Tarek shares how a chance meeting with a random stranger opened his eyes to the possibility of “living the life he always dreamed of living” and that it fuelled a desire for him to boldly pursue his dreams. After the string of synchronicities and events which acted as a not-so-subtle nudge for him, he shares “I bought I one-way-ticket, and I never looked back”.

The result of his leap of faith and radical lifestyle change became the founding of Nomads Giving Back, which has now grown to 47 events over 8 different countries in its first year of conception and which “gives digital nomads and ex-pats a chance to ‘give back’ to the communities they call home away from home”.

Tarek discusses how challenging it was for him to break out of the mold and the comfortable lifestyle he was in initially because “we’re all conditioned… every day we’re living a habitualised life and surrounding ourselves with the same people/family/company… it becomes this perpetuating cycle of living a predictable life because you’re just playing a role.”

We asked Tarek if he had any advice for readers who want to break out of the lifestyle, role or career their in and overcome the challenge he just described. He tells us that in order to experience different, you need to act differently, that “outside of that regular area, that routine, is where you gain perspective.”

He gives readers some activities that he pursued in the early stages of taking the leap to becoming a digital nomad, that may assist you on your journey.

Consume content that is inspirational

Tarek was consumed by TED talks in those early days of his journey and describes all of the types of self development and inspirational content he would seek out. Why is this so helpful to Tarek, and why will it help you on your journey?

Our emotions are hugely influential when it comes to our follow through and feeling inspired can have a massive impact on whether or not you are able to stick to your guns. Learning from professionals, from people who have already traveled down the path you have, or consuming content that is informative, motivational and inspirational will help you to stay on task and continually striving when you’re faced with adversity along the way.

Seek out the right crowd, surround yourself with ‘expanders’

Tarek tells us that during the most formative time of his self-exploration journey, “I decided to be careful about who I let into my space and try to minimize that time with them.” Rather than spending time with those who re-enforced the old ‘role’ he would play, he would seek out people who inspired him and encouraged him to grow and expand.

An excellent way to grow and develop is to surround yourself with people who motivate and inspire you in some way – people who are further along the journey than you or who are already doing what you aspire to do. This is expansive energy to be around and will help you to learn and grow purely by diffusion.

Mind your own business

Tarek shares that it wasn’t until the wheels were well and truly in motion, he was already a significant way along the path and had already resigned from his corporate job that he decided to tell anybody of his plans. He knew that his family and friends would discourage him out of fear and when he did eventually tell them, “that’s when the push-back came…but by that point, it was too late.”

The reality is, sometimes the people closest to us are not supportive of our goals, our visions, our career changes or our lifestyles… and that is totally ok. They don’t have to understand or even like it in order for us to succeed.

If you know that your close family/friends/partner will react negatively and that it will affect your ability to go through with taking the plunge, avoid telling them for as long as possible. Keep it on a ‘need to know’ basis until you’re set-up, stable and you’re over the biggest hurdles. Know that their lack of support or understanding isn’t because they don’t love or care about you – in fact, it’s usually because they love and care about you. Set some clear boundaries and keep your business to yourself until you’re at a point where you feel comfortable with facing a potential backlash. While they might not understand or support you initially, they almost always will come around when they see what you have achieved and how it has impacted your life and happiness. They are only afraid of the unconventional lifestyle you are seeking because it’s not familiar to them.

We asked Tarek what living the unconventional life means to him – “[It] means taking a step outside of yourself [and] your comfort zone to really trying to understand as much as you can of who you are… liberating yourself from the shackles of whatever life you feel trapped in… finding and seeking out experiences and people who inspire the real you.”

Giveaway!

Tarek is offering a one-on-one 30-minute consultation to one of our readers to chat about anything you’re passionate about, learn more about the journey of becoming a digital nomad or for support on their own personal growth path. You can find out more about Tarek and the wonderful work that Nomads Giving Back does at: www.nomadsgivingback.com