Unconventional Life – Podcast, Blog, Live Events

Author: Jules Schroeder

EP: 210 The Key to Overcoming Adversity, with Wellness Entrepreneur, Tori Holmes

Overcoming adversity is no easy feat – whether it be facing terminal illnesses, starting an entrepreneurial journey or performing athletic tests of endurance and strength – it takes a certain type of person to be able to overcome, maintain a positive attitude and prevail.

Are we born with certain traits that determine how well we ‘roll with the punches’, overcome adversity and achieve success in all areas of life – whether that be wellness, business or lifestyle?

Is it an inherited attitude or is it a learned skill we are all capable of gaining?

Unconventional Life caught up with the extraordinary Tori Holmes, wellness entrepreneur and wellness ‘doula’, co-founder of Nectar Juicery, the youngest women to row an ocean and two-time author, to talk about her incredible journey of overcoming adversity, finishing what she’s started and coming out victorious in life.

We were lucky enough to get a glimpse into this woman’s impressive life story and how she has managed to overcome serious adversities, achieve success and maintain a deeply abiding level of self-trust along the way.

Tori’s incredible journey in this lifetime is a testimony to her grit and determination – including some pretty colossal ups and downs. Tori talks openly – for the first time – about the experience of having both breast and cervical cancer as a 35 year old, and how she didn’t see it as a setback or a life sentence, instead she saw it as a life re-alignment.

“In some ways, I feel like I’ve had cancer a couple of times so I can go through this route… every time it’s a life-level, a check-in – it’s been like – what’s working, what’s not working… am I in alignment.”

Her battle with Cancer was not her first experience of braving adversity and coming out the other end victorious, it simply reflects the nature of her fiercely determined personality – “if I say I’m going to do something… my track record is 100%, I do what I say what I’m going to do”. That track record includes her experience of completing a rowing marathon against 60ft of wave breaks in the Caribbean Ocean, with broken ribs she sustained along the way.

Along with the growth in her character as a result of this experience (not to mention a badass story to share for years to come), the rowing tour was also instrumental in cementing Tori’s interest in the wellness field and her interest in nutrition and ‘living’ food. It was during this experience that she realized how strong the mind-body connection was while her body was being compromised and starved of proper nutrition – “I really noted my emotional connection towards food and actually understanding what it feels like to have fuel in your body”.

It was from this experience that her successful wellness businesses stemmed, along with her book “Beauty Water”. Tori is an advocate for wellness and helping others to find their own wellness through Ayurvedic and alternative principles and the success of her businesses and her books is a testimony to her passion and knowledge in these areas, along with her determined attitude.

Tori talks about how being in alignment and in flow with what she was trying to create was the biggest secret to her success and ability to have full trust in herself – “it was a physical feeling and a knowing….we had a way to just navigate the no’s and adversity and lack of belief and hold the vision.” It is this full trust in self and flow state that enabled her to move through the knockbacks and continue with her path.

She gives advice to readers who are starting out a new venture, project or journey on how to cultivate that self trust and to notice the difference between being in or out of alignment with what you’re trying to do. To know the difference between when it’s time to put things at stake, or to slow down. Tori tells us that when she was feeling aligned with what she was doing, “when I got no’s, there was such an internal belief that it didn’t penetrate”, contrary to when she wasn’t in alignment – “when I was trying to do things from my head and not my heart, I couldn’t physically attach to it in an embodied way, and when i got negative feedback, it would have penetrated me.”

Along with this, understanding that when things are in flow “to embody that and move with it” – rather than to “have a sense that everything is heavy and everything is hard”. She encourages readers to be able to see the difference between the two and be able to re-align their choices and path when things are not inflow or need a course correction.

Tori also strongly recommends meditation and encourages the readers to find their own style of meditation – their own ‘language’ – in order to strengthen their ability to trust their intuition and recognize when they are in alignment.

Giveaway!

Tori is offering one lucky reader the chance to win her book “Beauty Water” In her book, Tori has developed ways to turn the simple act of hydration into a self-care ritual. As part of a timely conversation on beauty by ways of nutrition and supplements, she created 50 recipes for water-based elixirs that improve vitality, support longevity, and aid our bodies’ natural recovery mechanisms. She uses everything from common herbs like nettle, mint, and chamomile, to supplements like adaptogens, chlorophyll, and CBD oil to create elixirs for everyday use.

Looking to Connect with Tori?

Check out her Instagram at Toriholmeslife

March 1, 2020
EP: 209 The Hidden Power of Every Person Around You, with Carl Shephard

There is a saying ‘You are the sum of the 5 people around you.’ By proxy, you will likely start to pick up the behaviors and habits of who you spend time with. So who do you surround yourself with, and do they encourage you to grow and become your ideal version of yourself? Gaining new knowledge and being consistently inspired by the people around you can drastically enhance the course of your life.

However, sometimes it’s tough to find time in an already busy schedule to go out to meet and connect deeply with the people you are really searching for. Work, family and previous commitments are all too common of hindrances that stand between us and the person we want to become. Sometimes, we need to break the pattern, break the habits, and dive right into an experience that completely redefines and aligns who we are, for the better.

This week on the Unconventional Life show is Carl Shephard, Carl shares how the people you choose to simply spend time with will alter the course of your life. Plus the release of an exciting new venture called EntrepreneurShip.

Carl is the founder of Insider Expeditions, Co-Founder of CNS Global Advisors, curator of 500 international experiences across 7 continents and two-time circumnavigator but beyond all of that he seems to be the living embodiment for the art of collaboration.

Carl is a man who really dreams big, which is why he has curated The EntrepreneurShip event sailing out of Rome this summer. The event is bringing together 500 innovators, leaders, artists and entrepreneurs together for 5 days aboard the Seabourn Encore, a luxury ship cruising the Mediterranean Sea.

This vision for this event is built upon connection and inspiration. The idea is to connect different communities together to collaborate at a larger level for social good and global impact. The event is meant to be a catalyzing ecosystem where one conversation has the power to inspire, realign and evolve you to the greatest version of yourself.

One of Carl’s favorite quotes is “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room” He would always choose to be a “small fish in a super interesting, colorful, magical pond,” which is great unconventional wisdom. So often we are taught to be the ‘big fish’ and be at the top of the ranking or game but what if you just kept jumping ponds. You would be able to surround yourself with and collaborate with people who would continue to move the needle further in your life. Carl believes that to get to the next level is only possible with collaboration, different perspectives, and more experiences.

On the ship are people from all different types of nationalities and cultures, big industries, small companies, seasoned entrepreneurs, artists and people who are wanting to start a new venture or want to do something creative. A few of the organizations and people that are behind this movement include; Daybreaker, Entrepreneurs Organization, Maverick 1000, LiveItUp, guest speakers such as Mark Hyman, Rahda and Miki Agrawal, Julianne Hough with performances by the Human Experience and Gone Gone Beyond and that is just a few. If you are looking to uplevel your life and business then this is definitely the event to join, where one conversation, one perspective shift at dinner, or one workshop can inspire you to new heights while living your best life 😉

Click here to find out more and get onboard!

February 24, 2020
Ep:208 Why “Fake It Til You Make It” Is Holding You Back From True Self Expression – With Pop Artist, Eden xo

Whether you’re an artist, a performer or an entrepreneur, most creative industries and entrepreneurial roles involve a level of risk, setback, and disappointment before you succeed, along with an insistent pressure to produce high-level work.

It is perhaps why so many dream of pursuing these creative careers, but so few are able to ‘make it’ a reality.

Among those who have truly ‘made it’, there is a common theme underpinning their ability to succeed – self-reflection, authenticity and personal transformation. It is what allows them to remain persistent after hearing ‘no’ so many times and to maintain a high level of creative output, even under this intense pressure to perform.

Greater than all of that, it allows them to remain authentic in a world of ‘fake it til you make it’ and outward appearances. So what does it take to ‘make it’ without faking ‘it’?

We caught up with Eden xo, singer, songwriter and pop-cultural icon who has worked with artists such as Kygo, Lil John, Pitbull, Kelly Clarkson, to talk about the creative process, dealing with setbacks, the experience of staying true to herself in the music industry and the lessons she learned through coming into stardom.

Eden shares about her roots, her childhood, and her Persian background – there was always culturally a high value put on art, music, and literature and even though she wasn’t encouraged to pursue these areas growing up, she did anyway. One could say creativity was in her DNA. This creative expression helped her to cope with the turbulent upbringing and domestic violence in her home environment, “when I was a little kid I always had an interest in performing and creativity… I really enjoyed expressing myself that way and stepping into the shoes of another version of myself”.

Eden got her first record deal at the age of 16, shortly after emancipating herself at 15 years of age and moving to LA – “I just knew, I’m going to LA and I’m going to make it and I’m going to have a story to tell.” She tells us about the experience of being a musician and performer – moving through different labels, rebrandings and phases in her career to come to the place where she is today. She has much to say about using ‘performance’ or creativity and about how her work didn’t fully develop until she understood the premise of transforming into someone else through her work. “I believe that there’s a difference between performance and transformance… you can tell the difference between when someone is ‘performing’ and ‘trying to be’ or truly stepping into the shoes of the role… it’s about sitting in the water, going deep… being as opposed to posing as something”. This ‘being’ that she refers to and the full embodiment of her work is what she believes enables her to thrive as a creative and avoid the stress that stems from her professional pressure to put out records all of the time.

Eden finds no need to push or force the creative process, “letting it come to me as opposed to trying to force something out” – which she stresses is such an important factor to her success.

We asked Eden to use reflect on her life experience and give our listeners some advice on how to ‘keep it real’, stay true to yourself and deal with setbacks, disappointments, and failures.

The most important piece is to find your tribe with who you can be authentic and open, even when you have suffered setbacks or failures.

Eden fully advocates for speaking your truth, that “your own vulnerability is important.”

She reflects on the fact that the entertainment industry is largely based on ‘fake it til you make it’ and having to put on a face and pretend you’re ok when you’re not. She uses the example of having just suffered a major setback of being dropped by her record label and then attending a party where everybody knew – resisting the urge to say ‘everything is great’ when people asked her how she was, and be okay with being honest and vulnerable. “Empathy is at the core of art…” she believes, and that finding her ‘tribe’ who she could be open and authentic with helped her to survive in such a face-value and cut-throat industry.

Eden gives some more advice for the listeners that are emerging artists who are looking to break into the music industry – her advice rings true for almost anyone in an entrepreneurial journey as well.

“You’re going to hear 90 million times…99.999% of the time you’re going to hear no and it’s going to crush you, so allow it to crush you…” Eden believes that in order to succeed, you must see the setbacks and failures as a pinnacle to your growth and your performance, “seeing what that transforms and what looks like creatively”.

She views those periods of defeat, rejection as the biggest catalyst for her growth professionally and personally, and that “what I would [say] looking back is that I wouldn’t mask or numb it… I would sit in those feelings, that’s what I’d do differently.” She urges listeners suffering a setback, that instead of avoiding the negative feelings, to document them and allow yourself to experience them.

Eden also comes back to drive home the earlier point she made about remaining authentic and true to yourself, telling us – “you have to just do you”.

For those of you who are curious about the music Eden creates or to follow her journey, you can find her on Instagram @Eden or twitter @Edenxo

Her new record “The Question” is now available on vinyl and on all digital streaming platforms – Spotify, Apple Music, etc. You can also catch her hosting the Beats 1 music show on Apple Music on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

February 17, 2020
Ep: 207 How to pivot and re-create who you are, with Debra Wanger

This week on the Unconventional Life Show is Debra Wanger. Debra is a former actress who has performed in theaters and cabarets from Boston to Los Angeles but when some would say she was at the “peak of her career”, Debra decided to leave the acting world. Debra shares that she “was doing well professionally, but I was personally a mess. I was overweight, I was depressed, I was lonely and when I wasn’t working I didn’t have any sense of direction”

The constant hustle of always auditioning and looking for the next gig as an actress was draining but she was able to press the pause button and contemplate…

“Is this even what I want?”

From answering this simple question, Debra made some major life shifts, returned to school and received her BA in sociology, worked on the other side of the business, became a health coach, singer and is the author two books.

In this episode, Debra shares how to bring all the parts of yourself to the table to live a diverse and exciting life.

“it’s okay to be the weird hyphenate”

In this new Unconventional paradigm, we are no longer glued to single career labels. We don’t have to be settled in one career for an entire lifetime. Debra studied under Dave Asprey and the 2nd Law from his 46 Laws is “do not passively discover who you are. Actively decide and create who you are.” If we keep saying yes to the things that life gives us then we will never have an opportunity to say yes to the things that we truly want.

You can be the person who is the Wellness Coach-Dancer-Blog Writer and Designer. The combination of things is what makes you unique, diverse and able to live a more exciting life.

Are you actively discovering and trying new things that excite you or are you just following what you think you should be doing?

Is this even what I want in life?

Admitting that your life isn’t fulfilling you the way it used to and trying something new is a very brave step. Debra did a lot of visioning when she was trying to bring more happiness and balance into her life and always returned to this question; If I was happy what would my life look like?

Try this exercise out for yourself, where would you be waking up, how would you be fulling your day, what would you be talking about, what would you do in your free time?

begin with the end in mind.

If you are pondering these questions yourself, she encourages you to reverse engineer how you are going to get there. The reverse engineering process starts with asking yourself “what needs to happen in order to realize this goal?”Once we find an answer to the question above, we use deductive questioning until we come up with an action step that can be immediately executed.

Realize that this life is the only one you have and it’s never too late to make adjustments!

Giveaway!

Debra is giving away some of her books including ” The Resilient Actor- How to Kick Ass in the Business, Without it Kicking Your Ass” along with the workbook planner that just came out on Amazon, check out the books here.

February 10, 2020
EP: 206 The 4 Keys to Unlocking a Sale, with Mindvalley’s Sales Strategist, Jason Campbell

Many of us suffer from the crippling fear of having the ‘tough’ conversations which stand in the way of creating the life that we crave. Some of these conversations include asking for that raise that will monumentally change your standard of living, asking to be able to work remotely so you can have the freedom to travel, selling yourself through your own personal brand or products or simply convincing people that your idea is the one that they should roll with.

We caught up with Jason Campbell, author of “Selling With Love” and creator of the “Superhumans at Work” podcast to talk about how mastering communication is the key to ultimate fulfillment and having the life you desire. In addition to his own passion projects regarding sales, Jason has spent the last year traveling the world while working as the marketing and sales leader for Mindvalley.

Jason tells us about how learning the ability of sales early on in life was influential for his ability to create the life he wanted – “once you understand the power of sales, you can start being much more in control of a lot of things in your life.”

The ability to eloquently express your needs and desires is one of the most important factors involved in getting what you want out of your lifestyle. Jason was able to leverage his sales ability to renegotiate his contract, allowing him to work remotely, move to Thailand and drop his cost of living by a third, finding himself in a more abundant position without having to ask for a salary raise.

The ‘sales’ process has implications for everything, not just how much money you make. For instance, it was instrumental in his relationships as it’s primarily about what Jason refers to as “an energy exchange”.

We asked Jason to give some advice to our readers on how to approach the sometimes uncomfortable conversations in life or how to “sell” your desires – for instance, how to conduct the conversation with your employer around allowing you to work remotely or get that raise that you want. Jason explains how there are 4 ‘emotional levels’ or steps you must move through in order to ‘sell with love’ or be able to efficiently, eloquently and successfully ‘sell yourself’ or get what you want.

Step 1: Guilt, shame, self-sabotaging, feelings of imposter syndrome.

Thoughts like “if I ask for this I am a bad person and I am feeling shame and guilt for wanting to ask.” Jason tells us that we get stuck in this phase mainly because of conditioning in our childhood from hearing ‘no’ early on. To evolve past this level, Jason suggests doing inner work to examine the situations that would have been instrumental in instilling the belief of ego or inner child that ‘selling’ will ultimately lead to rejection, pain or loss of love. He also points out that if you have resistance to the idea of ‘sales’ people for some other reason – for instance, you think they are sleazy or immoral – then this is something you need to work through as well.

Step 2: Fear and scarcity but also pride and curiosity or wanting to ‘prove’ yourself

This is where you start saying “hey, I made a sale and that felt good…” You’re not necessarily at the place of abundance yet, but you’re starting to get a sense that you have more control in your life. The risk of level 2, Jason says, is that you can be unaware of the impact of what your selling is, you can be selling from a selfish place or “you are not doing it from the intention of serving”. Which can come back to haunt you in the future, because you will ultimately feel empty afterward if what you are doing is unethical. So before you begin to sell something, try it out yourself, do you really believe in the value the product or service has to offer?

Step 3: Rationality

This is the phase where “you start really preparing the data, thinking that it’s the data which is going to close the sale” Some examples of data sharing are listing out all of your skills and employment history. You want to move from an ‘I” mentality and into a “we” mentality. How are you going to help them, what is the mutual benefit and value that you are bringing to the table?

This is where people start to develop a lot of self-awareness and become super conscious of the value of what they are selling. The problem with this is that you start doubting or second-guessing the value of what you are trying to sell, which affects your ability to make the sale, therefore driving your ‘abundance’ down. According to Jason, people don’t buy with their mind, they buy with their emotions. So this step is particularly problematic and is usually where people get stuck.

If you are feeling some fear and hesitation Jason shares a fun little shortcut to get over emotions that stand in the way of you communicating effectively and making a sale. Find a charity that you believe in and do some cold calls ask for funds or donations. This allows you to practice presenting an idea, asking for money and getting over the fear of rejection and help out a good cause. It’s a win-win!

Step 4: Love

This is the sweet spot for sales, where you have done your research and you’ve ensured there’s an even energy exchange that you can put your emotion behind. “Become clear on the impact you make with the work you do, know that what you’re giving is more than what you’re asking… then you can step into the place.” This is where you want to be, where you are now selling out of an energy of ‘love’.

Jason will soon be releasing his book “Selling With Love”, so keep an eye out for that if you want to learn more about how to improve your sales game. He has also welcomed readers to reach out to him on social media @jason.campbell with any questions, queries or comments.

February 3, 2020