Many of us suffer from the crippling fear of having the ‘tough’ conversations which stand in the way of creating the life that we crave. Some of these conversations include asking for that raise that will monumentally change your standard of living, asking to be able to work remotely so you can have the freedom to travel, selling yourself through your own personal brand or products or simply convincing people that your idea is the one that they should roll with.
We caught up with Jason Campbell, author of “Selling With Love” and creator of the “Superhumans at Work” podcast to talk about how mastering communication is the key to ultimate fulfillment and having the life you desire. In addition to his own passion projects regarding sales, Jason has spent the last year traveling the world while working as the marketing and sales leader for Mindvalley.
Jason tells us about how learning the ability of sales early on in life was influential for his ability to create the life he wanted – “once you understand the power of sales, you can start being much more in control of a lot of things in your life.”
The ability to eloquently express your needs and desires is one of the most important factors involved in getting what you want out of your lifestyle. Jason was able to leverage his sales ability to renegotiate his contract, allowing him to work remotely, move to Thailand and drop his cost of living by a third, finding himself in a more abundant position without having to ask for a salary raise.
The ‘sales’ process has implications for everything, not just how much money you make. For instance, it was instrumental in his relationships as it’s primarily about what Jason refers to as “an energy exchange”.
We asked Jason to give some advice to our readers on how to approach the sometimes uncomfortable conversations in life or how to “sell” your desires – for instance, how to conduct the conversation with your employer around allowing you to work remotely or get that raise that you want. Jason explains how there are 4 ‘emotional levels’ or steps you must move through in order to ‘sell with love’ or be able to efficiently, eloquently and successfully ‘sell yourself’ or get what you want.
Step 1: Guilt, shame, self-sabotaging, feelings of imposter syndrome.
Thoughts like “if I ask for this I am a bad person and I am feeling shame and guilt for wanting to ask.” Jason tells us that we get stuck in this phase mainly because of conditioning in our childhood from hearing ‘no’ early on. To evolve past this level, Jason suggests doing inner work to examine the situations that would have been instrumental in instilling the belief of ego or inner child that ‘selling’ will ultimately lead to rejection, pain or loss of love. He also points out that if you have resistance to the idea of ‘sales’ people for some other reason – for instance, you think they are sleazy or immoral – then this is something you need to work through as well.
Step 2: Fear and scarcity but also pride and curiosity or wanting to ‘prove’ yourself
This is where you start saying “hey, I made a sale and that felt good…” You’re not necessarily at the place of abundance yet, but you’re starting to get a sense that you have more control in your life. The risk of level 2, Jason says, is that you can be unaware of the impact of what your selling is, you can be selling from a selfish place or “you are not doing it from the intention of serving”. Which can come back to haunt you in the future, because you will ultimately feel empty afterward if what you are doing is unethical. So before you begin to sell something, try it out yourself, do you really believe in the value the product or service has to offer?
Step 3: Rationality
This is the phase where “you start really preparing the data, thinking that it’s the data which is going to close the sale” Some examples of data sharing are listing out all of your skills and employment history. You want to move from an ‘I” mentality and into a “we” mentality. How are you going to help them, what is the mutual benefit and value that you are bringing to the table?
This is where people start to develop a lot of self-awareness and become super conscious of the value of what they are selling. The problem with this is that you start doubting or second-guessing the value of what you are trying to sell, which affects your ability to make the sale, therefore driving your ‘abundance’ down. According to Jason, people don’t buy with their mind, they buy with their emotions. So this step is particularly problematic and is usually where people get stuck.
If you are feeling some fear and hesitation Jason shares a fun little shortcut to get over emotions that stand in the way of you communicating effectively and making a sale. Find a charity that you believe in and do some cold calls ask for funds or donations. This allows you to practice presenting an idea, asking for money and getting over the fear of rejection and help out a good cause. It’s a win-win!
Step 4: Love
This is the sweet spot for sales, where you have done your research and you’ve ensured there’s an even energy exchange that you can put your emotion behind. “Become clear on the impact you make with the work you do, know that what you’re giving is more than what you’re asking… then you can step into the place.” This is where you want to be, where you are now selling out of an energy of ‘love’.
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Jason will soon be releasing his book “Selling With Love”, so keep an eye out for that if you want to learn more about how to improve your sales game. He has also welcomed readers to reach out to him on social media @jason.campbell with any questions, queries or comments.
