We are in a time right now where the world has slowed down, and many of us are on a government-enforced lockdown due to the outbreak of COVID-19 and it’s pandemic status. 

There is no denying that compared to the fast-paced, busy lives many of us lead as a part of this modern society, quarantine almost feels like jail time. For many, the idea of being confined to their home for weeks on end feels like they are on personal arrest or is the stuff of their own worst nightmare. 

But here at Unconventional Life, we see opportunities, not problems, and want to help our readers see what a blessing this downtime truly is. 

We caught up with Asya Azar – creator, writer, entrepreneur, and creator of solo retreats where individuals design their own unique experiences around virtually every niche from lifestyle and self-development to book writing – to talk about how to get the most out of your mandatory quarantine. To not just survive, but thrive through our abundance of alone time and social distance. 

Yes, it can feel like quarantine is the equivalent of being sent to your room to think about what you’ve done – “because it’s not natural, because it’s been enforced on us, a lot of people are freaking out.” but Asya believes it’s so important to look at the silver lining in this situation, “Yes we’re being forced and it feels strange but there is such opportunity here!”

“I wanna remind people, this is what we’ve been waiting for in a way… time off. Everyone craves a week off for themselves to go inward and finally write that book… or whatever it is.” 

So what is it that you’ve been craving the time to do, but haven’t had the time because you’ve been ‘too busy’ with work, or life, or socializing, or whatever else your life was filled up with before the pandemic happened? 

Here are a few steps to turn your quarantine into your own unique solo retreat experience, focused around just that!

Decide the duration of your retreat, the “what” and the “why” 

The first step is to design your retreat – lay out the structure of it, the time frame, the ‘what’ it’s about and the ‘why’ you are doing it.

In terms of length, Asya believes that “even a 3 hour fully baked retreat can be such a gift to yourself” and that you don’t have to spend the entire of your quarantine period in your solo retreat. How long do you think you’d be able to commit to doing this retreat for? How long would you need to fully immerse yourself in the ‘what’ of the retreat? Would the retreat last all day every day, or would it be certain hours of the day? What sort of activities would it involve? 

“Having the structure in some ways makes it more real… be fluid with your structure, but do design one”

If you’re struggling coming up with ideas of ‘what’ your retreat will be about, or what activities to include, create a list of things that you always want to find the time to do but haven’t previously been able to find to do. Some ideas might be: writing your novel, designing your website, songwriting, going inwards in prolonged silent meditation, yoga or home workouts, self pleasure, self inquiry. This is your retreat, so it can be about anything you are passionate about! 

Asya wants to stress that the ‘why’ is just as important as the ‘what’ because it will be what allows you “to come back to that compass of why am I doing this retreat” when your endurance, discipline or interest is fading after time. What was the reason you wanted to do this particular retreat? What is a tangible metric or a measurable goal at the end of the retreat? Write it down!

Set clear parameters for how much time you’ll spend going inwards and being by yourself and how much you’ll be carving out for social time.

The most common thing we’ve been hearing about one of the main concerns of self-imposed quarantine (or government-imposed) is the fear that most people have of being alone with their thoughts for prolonged periods of time. Asya says “just know you’re not alone in that, it’s a natural concern… there’s this complete stillness and darkness and people are afraid of that.”

But there is so much to be gained from the solitude, “there might be diamonds inside of you because you haven’t just had a moment or a day to just sit with yourself” so it is crucial to overcome this fear. One way of helping you do that is to have clearly defined or structured periods of time in which you’ll go into solitude (shutting yourself off from social media or contact with the outside world). In these periods, you fully commit to going within as “that place of stillness is a place we can be reborn.”

Outside of these parameters, you are free to aimlessly scroll on social media, hang out with loved ones or get on as many Skype calls as your heart desires.

Think of some ways to document your progress or remain accountable throughout 

One helpful way to keep up with your retreat and not get bored and drop the ball is finding a way to either share your progress or remain accountable throughout the duration. This might be by sharing the products of your retreat each day (if it’s a creative retreat, such as songwriting) or your reflections (if it’s a more mental retreat) with close friends, or even on social media if you are comfortable with doing so. If you don’t want to share, keep a journal or document your progress through photos or some other tangible way. 

You could also decide to have an accountability buddy who you do this retreat with (separately, of course) and come together to report back at an allotted time every day. 

We want to remind you that quarantine doesn’t have to suck and that this forced ‘break’ can do wonders for you if you choose to let it.

Happy quarantine life!

Have any questions for Asya? You can connect with her through her Instagram.

Many of us suffer from the crippling fear of having the ‘tough’ conversations which stand in the way of creating the life that we crave. Some of these conversations include asking for that raise that will monumentally change your standard of living, asking to be able to work remotely so you can have the freedom to travel, selling yourself through your own personal brand or products or simply convincing people that your idea is the one that they should roll with.

We caught up with Jason Campbell, author of “Selling With Love” and creator of the “Superhumans at Work” podcast to talk about how mastering communication is the key to ultimate fulfillment and having the life you desire. In addition to his own passion projects regarding sales, Jason has spent the last year traveling the world while working as the marketing and sales leader for Mindvalley. 

Jason tells us about how learning the ability of sales early on in life was influential for his ability to create the life he wanted – “once you understand the power of sales, you can start being much more in control of a lot of things in your life.” 

The ability to eloquently express your needs and desires is one of the most important factors involved in getting what you want out of your lifestyle. Jason was able to leverage his sales ability to renegotiate his contract, allowing him to work remotely, move to Thailand and drop his cost of living by a third, finding himself in a more abundant position without having to ask for a salary raise. 

The ‘sales’ process has implications for everything, not just how much money you make. For instance, it was instrumental in his relationships as it’s primarily about what Jason refers to as “an energy exchange”. 

We asked Jason to give some advice to our readers on how to approach the sometimes uncomfortable conversations in life or how to “sell” your desires – for instance, how to conduct the conversation with your employer around allowing you to work remotely or get that raise that you want. Jason explains how there are 4 ‘emotional levels’ or steps you must move through in order to ‘sell with love’ or be able to efficiently, eloquently and successfully ‘sell yourself’ or get what you want. 

Step 1: Guilt, shame, self-sabotaging, feelings of imposter syndrome. 

Thoughts like “if I ask for this I am a bad person and I am feeling shame and guilt for wanting to ask.” Jason tells us that we get stuck in this phase mainly because of conditioning in our childhood from hearing ‘no’ early on. To evolve past this level, Jason suggests doing inner work to examine the situations that would have been instrumental in instilling the belief of ego or inner child that ‘selling’ will ultimately lead to rejection, pain or loss of love. He also points out that if you have resistance to the idea of ‘sales’ people for some other reason – for instance, you think they are sleazy or immoral – then this is something you need to work through as well. 

Step 2: Fear and scarcity but also pride and curiosity or wanting to ‘prove’ yourself

This is where you start saying “hey, I made a sale and that felt good…” You’re not necessarily at the place of abundance yet, but you’re starting to get a sense that you have more control in your life. The risk of level 2, Jason says, is that you can be unaware of the impact of what your selling is, you can be selling from a selfish place or “you are not doing it from the intention of serving”. Which can come back to haunt you in the future, because you will ultimately feel empty afterward if what you are doing is unethical. So before you begin to sell something, try it out yourself, do you really believe in the value the product or service has to offer? 

Step 3: Rationality

This is the phase where “you start really preparing the data, thinking that it’s the data which is going to close the sale”  Some examples of data sharing are listing out all of your skills and employment history. You want to move from an ‘I” mentality and into a “we” mentality. How are you going to help them, what is the mutual benefit and value that you are bringing to the table? 

This is where people start to develop a lot of self-awareness and become super conscious of the value of what they are selling. The problem with this is that you start doubting or second-guessing the value of what you are trying to sell, which affects your ability to make the sale, therefore driving your ‘abundance’ down. According to Jason, people don’t buy with their mind, they buy with their emotions. So this step is particularly problematic and is usually where people get stuck. 

If you are feeling some fear and hesitation Jason shares a fun little shortcut to get over emotions that stand in the way of you communicating effectively and making a sale. Find a charity that you believe in and do some cold calls ask for funds or donations. This allows you to practice presenting an idea, asking for money and getting over the fear of rejection and help out a good cause. It’s a win-win! 

Step 4: Love

This is the sweet spot for sales, where you have done your research and you’ve ensured there’s an even energy exchange that you can put your emotion behind. “Become clear on the impact you make with the work you do, know that what you’re giving is more than what you’re asking… then you can step into the place.” This is where you want to be, where you are now selling out of an energy of ‘love’. 

Jason will soon be releasing his book “Selling With Love”, so keep an eye out for that if you want to learn more about how to improve your sales game. He has also welcomed readers to reach out to him on social media @jason.campbell with any questions, queries or comments.