Unconventional Life – Podcast, Blog, Live Events

Category: Relationships

  • How to Utilize Your Eroticism to Fuel Your Creative Genius with World Renown Sexologist, Jaiya

    How to Utilize Your Eroticism to Fuel Your Creative Genius with World Renown Sexologist, Jaiya

    It’s widely believed that intimacy must stay behind closed doors, but what if your eroticism is actually fuel that has the ability to awaken latent creative genius in your brain!  According to Napoleon Hill’s classic Think and Grow Rich, when channeled effectively your sexuality has unimaginable superpowers.  In fact, after a 90-day orgasm challenge, Jaiya tripled her income by using her pleasure as her purpose.

    Once a shy little girl, Jaiya grew up in a poor, abusive environment and remembers spending countless hours hiding away in her Catholic school library.  She’d dive into books about eroticism and sexuality, frantically learning as much as she could about the ways humans intimately interacted with each other.  It’s clear to acknowledge the budding sexologist she already was at such a young age. From eradicating the idea of storks delivering babies amongst her peers to designing a masterful system that helps anyone discover their erotic type, Jaiya made it her mission to uncover and debunk the mysticism around eroticism.

    Right before listening to Jaiya’s episode I took the quiz and found out I’m a Kinky Type (Find out what you are here).  Initially sharing this feels vulnerable and exposing, but after sitting with what she shared in the podcast, I’m choosing to try on a new option which is to feel permission to be exactly as I am.  In a world where sex is primarily a culturally taboo topic, Jaiya is an advocate for releasing shame and uncertainty by providing tools that empower people to embrace this sensational gift we were all given at birth.  Sex is a fundamental aspect to life and yet time and time again, Jaiya saw how many of her clients would express dissatisfaction and shame about their needs or desires.

    How frequently do you feel shame or misunderstood about your sexual preferences?  Does talking about eroticism bring anything up for you? Understanding the drive of your body is a constant learning process, and Jaiya’s work came much from her own trials and tribulations.  Part of her service to humanity is helping clients speak, heal and expand the possibilities of pleasure to experience turn on in all realms of their lives.

    Jaiya believes that sexual incompatibility is a myth and that each type has its own language.  Take the Erotic Blueprint quiz and see what your type is. Learn how to articulate your desires and needs.  Share with your partner and learn their type too. Notice your behavioral patterns and thoughts about your sexuality.  Find mentors, therapists, and support systems to assist your exploration. Be a student of sexuality and together we can carve a new awareness and greater self-acceptance.  

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    Amelia Broughton is a relational facilitator, writer, and purveyor of connection, pioneering a more connected, communication-savvy, and emotionally intelligent planet. She facilitates Authentic Relating and Relational Leadership in various settings and communities. Her expertise is in team dynamics and interpersonal relations. With over 10 years of experience on teams and in communities, Amelia’s vision for the world is one of beautiful interconnection, a place where we put down the distractions and to-do lists to bask in the miracles that surround us. The type of connection that nourishes us internally, externally and has every one of us feel seen, heard and loved with a true sense of belonging.  An active Unconventional Life member, Amelia consistently contributes her writing.

  • How to Propel Your Passion Forward with Your Partner

    How to Propel Your Passion Forward with Your Partner

    Joanna Gillan is the co-founder of Ancient Origins, a leading history and archaeology online publication that has over 4 million monthly views.  She co-founded this business with her husband, Dr. Ioannis Syrigos, reaching readers from over 129 countries around the world.  Beyond working in a power couple dynamic, Joanna was a researcher to the Royal Family and has grown Ancient Origins to include almost 240 writers, researchers, and academics.

    In Joanna’s episode, you will learn…

    • How to build a flourishing business with your partner  
    • How to create and cultivate a loyal audience  
    • The value of excavation, exploration and adventure
    • And much more…

    Find Out Where Your Interests Intersect. Co-founders often say starting a business feels like getting married. You’re in the trenches together, finding success together, and exploring uncharted territories with all sorts of thoughts, opinions, perspectives and expectations.  Starting a company that encapsulates things you both absolutely love will enhance the environment that you ignite together.

    When you’re ready to start something, Joanna recommends that you both individually write out ten things that are of interest and find the overlaps in your passions.  What do you both enjoy? What lights you up? What could you imagine creating with your partner? What kind of world do you envision? Get in touch with what really matters to the both of you and form a foundation from there.

    Distinguish Your Domains. When you’re with your partner 24/7, building and bonding, it can be difficult to navigate the meshing and mixing of the business domain and your intimate relationship.  “The key is to have roles that aren’t clashing,” says Joanna. Complimenting instead of competing will advance your business towards success by propelling your collective energy towards your greater vision.

    Establish the context of your partnership within and outside of your business upfront.  How do you wish to cultivate a business partnership? How do you want to continue showing up for your intimate relationship? What values do you hold? What matters most to you as a couple? Why do you want to develop this business together?  Communicate and clarify your expectations and desires for what you’re co-creating. Make sure you’re on the same page and keep coming back to the context if and when things get tough.

    Take Time for Exploration. In the hustle and bustle, it can be easy to get lost in the monotony of the desk.  Make sure to schedule focused time for your relationship, such as weekly dates or work-free vacations, to provide an opportunity outside of the daily grind to reconnect.  When wrapped up with passion, partnership, and purpose, designating time to tap out of the routine will boost your ability to come back to work refreshed and reset.

    Amelia Broughton is a relational facilitator and purveyor of connection, pioneering a more connected, communication-savvy, and emotionally intelligent planet. She facilitates Authentic Relating and Relational Leadership in various settings and communities. Her expertise is in team dynamics and interpersonal relations. With over 10 years of experience on teams and in communities, Amelia’s vision for the world is one of beautiful interconnection, a place where we put down the distractions and to-do lists to bask in the miracles that surround us. The type of connection that nourishes us internally, externally and has every one of us feel seen, heard and loved with a true sense of belonging.  An active Unconventional Life member, Amelia recently became our Operations Director and will be consistently contributing her writing. 

  • Power To The People: Catalysing A Movement Through Collaboration

    Power To The People: Catalysing A Movement Through Collaboration

    Alex Ebert is best known as the lead singer and songwriter for Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.  Beyond his accolades and musical impact, Alex is fiercely passionate about democracy and changing the way we vote and engage with things we care about.  In this episode, Alex and Nick Thomas combine forces to share their collaboration and Proxy, a platform representing the people’s vote.

    In Alex’s episode, you will learn…

    • How Alex is collaborating to positively influence the political climate
    • Why a ‘slow burn’ is better than the quick hit of success
    • Why your trust and inclusion of others is essential for greater impact

    And much more…

    Inquiries and Insights from Alex’s episode…

    What is “unprofessionalized professionalism”? In Ebert’s first band, Ima Robot, he became fixated with this concept of traditional professionalism and success. With his focus on conventional wisdom, Ebert lost contact with his innate instinct to make regular everyday choices for himself.  It was almost as if he’d become a robot with programming that wasn’t his own. Instead of asking “what would Jesus do?” he began to think back to his childhood and ask what he’d do as a child.  It was this very inquiry that preceded the brilliance of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros coming into existence.

    Conventional wisdom tells us there is a path that we should all be following.  It defines the course of acceptable action that many of us have grown up anticipating as we move through the educational system and into the world of adulting.  The degree to which you can tune out social media messaging and turn up your own voice will dictate the amount of space you have to discover your own path.

    In Ebert’s case, his process of embracing the unknown was to go into an incubation-like stage.  He turned off everything imaginable to discover his own version of professionalism. Perhaps you’re not completely off the grid, but is there something in your life you’d like to redefine or restructure?

    How do you know if you’re on the right path? It’s a courageous, and sometimes seemingly impossible, feat to hit the pause button for many.  Uncertainty may be an indication of the fear of change, but by relaxing some specific expectations you have about how you want things to be you may receive information that may have been unintentionally blocked by having blinders on. Call them synchronicities or unexplainable coincidences, Ebert believes that by changing your mindset you can and will open new doors that may not have been seen in your resistance. He also has to actively remind himself to choose a different course of action when he notices himself gripping to a specific outcome.  His personal reminder is to breathe in love and breathe out self-celebration.

    If you’re following Ebert’s advice, you’ll know that you’re here doing the very thing you were put on this Earth to do and not worry too much about the outcome. The right path for you is not necessarily right for anyone else.

    How do you stay determined through thick and thin? Fulfilling your greatest dreams and desires may not win the hearts of the masses overnight.  Day in, day out choosing to cultivate a foundation that you can stand on will likely not look like a cookie cutter, manufactured success.  Like many impact-oriented entrepreneurs, the analogy of success can be compared to that of nature. It takes time to seed, nurture, tend, and gently encourage the beauty of your vision into existence.  From his own experience, Ebert shares that the slow burn fosters a deeper understanding of your ripple effect due to the intimate time you’ve spent integrating and aligning along the way.

    When Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros first released their now world-famous song “Home” it was by no means an immediate hit that went viral.  Over the course of ten years, the song eventually gained traction to become the household favorite we known and love today. It wasn’t smooth sailing over those years, but their deep-rooted self-belief was what catalyzed a greater reward through the criticism and doubts.

    What is it that you can stand by?  Sure, you may get knocked over a few times, you may wobble, but the depth of your roots will establish the foundation and stability through the tough times.  Find the victory and self-celebration within. Trust your process and believe that the wisdom you hold is of profound value no matter what.

  • Your Sex Life Holds the Key to Your Big Breakthrough in Business!

    Your Sex Life Holds the Key to Your Big Breakthrough in Business!

    Want to know a (dirty) little secret? Having a hot sex life is the key to making more money.

    Yes. You read that right. That was a full stop.

    A powerhouse female client of mine recently leaned in close to me over a chai tea latte and said with a sly smile, “The best sex my partner and I ever had was when he brought that dominant part of himself into the bedroom you had been working with on. I’ve never seen him like that, he was a fully embodied animal! I had no choice but to yield and be ravished by this powerful masculine side of him. I’ve never done anything quite like that before. And I f*cking loved it!”

    I hear feedback like this from clients all the time. In opening up their sexual horizons together, the couples I work with find new levels of fulfillment and ignited passion in their relationship. Minds and bodies are blown. They tell me they feel more confident, open and free. But what they never suspect is that by cultivating the sex life of their dreams they also catalyze a paradigm shift in their businesses.

    This is not an accident.

    When I say your big breakthrough in business originates in a hot sex life, I mean it. The sexual alchemy you and your partner create together translates into financial abundance with precision and speed. And I’m going to show you the three ways to do it. But first, a little background:

    Hacking Your Erotic Source Code

    Sexual energy is arguably one of the most powerful yet often squandered forces known to man.

    If you take a look at psychologist Abraham Maslow’s theory of the hierarchy of needs and align his model with our seven human energy centers (chakras), the sexual center is located directly above meeting our basic survival needs on the climb to self-actualization. Once we have a roof over our head, food and safety, the next thing we are wired to do is to go out on the prowl. We are hardwired to reproduce and carry on the human race.

    We can use this drive toward reproduction to our advantage in our businesses. At its energetic core, this drive is pure creative energy and can be used to manifest our life’s purpose in this physical plane. When erotic energy is harnessed, and we are getting our deepest sexual needs met, we experience an overflow of life force and power. We become channels for our unique divine purpose and can use this high vibration energy toward developing actualized communication skills, intuition, personal will and power, and emotional maturity, all of which are necessary to be in flow around money and earning.

    In my work with high-achieving, growth-oriented couples I call this hacking your erotic source code. Take the Quiz to find out where your sexual superpower lies and where your area of growth is.

    I want to help you become sexually awakened, fully self-expressed and shameless around your sexual desires. Just think how many billion-dollar shame-based industries would go out of business if more people operated from this point? And just think of how much room there would be for all of your paradigm-shifting, high-vibration businesses?

    Exciting, no? Sexual energy is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It’s either working for you or against you. You decide.

    My Journey

    Like many of us, I grew up with the programming that sexual desires, pleasure and exploration shouldn’t be talked about openly. For me, this programing was even more extreme and steeped in religious justifications. I heard, “Sex before marriage is shameful, and even when you do have sex, its purpose is to make babies. You can talk about the rest with your husband.”

    But often we never do “talk about the rest” and have the in-depth conversations with our partners that matter, because there is no conscious adult erotic education to show us how it’s done.

    I sat next to a very nice pilot from Chicago on an airplane yesterday, and as it goes when you sit next to me on an airplane, we got into a conversation about intimacy and desire in relationship. He said, “After eight years together I would have never even thought of bringing any of this up to my wife. I don’t even know how to do that… but now you have me thinking.”

    Like this pilot, so many of us think about sex a lot, but feel confused or ashamed about our desires. We don’t know how to ask for what we want in bed because what we want is wrapped in layers of shame. We then settle for accepting less than what we desire and retreat into our fantasies while shutting down sexually with our partners. Resentments build, secrets are kept, and our creative life force drains out of us, affecting every aspect of our lives.

    Let’s take a look at some of what happens when our sexual energy is shamed, repressed and misunderstood. I offer up parts of my own story as an example:

    I’m five years old. I’m curious, vibrant and very connected to my body. I touch myself “down there” and it feels really amazing. Something doesn’t add up because touching myself feels good… but the world says it’s bad.

    Now I’m sixteen years old. Old enough to feel like I don’t want to be a nun, I decide to give religion the finger. I rebel, and pick up sex as my drug of choice. I then spend my teens and early twenties cavorting around in cleavage crop tops and having sex for attention and validation. At first I think it’s cool, like I’m a badass rebel who can’t be contained.

    What did that look like? Well…

    My head is pounding. The fan above me is making an annoying buzzing noise. I think it’s Wednesday? This asshole next to me is snoring. I turn my head to look at said asshole’s face and am relieved to find that at least he’s cute, and I remember liking him. But why did I need to turn that into a hook-up? Where are my pants? How did I do this shit again? I can’t do this shit again.

    It’s Saturday, I’m hungover from cheap tequila and existential emptiness in a room I don’t recognize. My chain belt and pleated battle skirt are off but this ridiculous Xena Warrior Princess top that puts my boobs up to my collar bones is still on. Fabulous. There’s a condom wrapper on the floor, thank God. But again, I don’t remember much at all. My phone vibrates, text from “Lumber Jack Shoreclub” What the actual f*ck is THIS? “Great time last night, had to work this Sunday. Call me sometime Xena. ;)” Oh. I’m in Lumber Jack Shoreclub’s bed. I do not remember this guys real name. *Throws up in mouth.*

    I wake up over and over again in different versions of this same scenario. Each time, I find myself further out to sea, adrift in an ocean of my own unsatisfying, disconnected sexual indulgence. I have to stop. I really have to stop.

    Finally, I see land! I swim toward it, desperate to connect to someone who can love me and stop this cycle.  Perhaps it’s time to put that wild sexual appetite away in a box and trade it for domestication? Yes! That must be it.

    I fall in love with a solid, sweet firefighter with dimples who I intuit will not hurt me. It’s the most loved and chosen I’ve felt in my whole life. He looks at me like I’m the only woman on the planet. We move in together. I play house.

    The familiar feeling of guilt settles in my gut. It’s been three weeks since my sweet, loving partner and I had sex… and before that it was another three weeks. I don’t want to f*ck my boyfriend. WHY DON’T I WANT TO F*CK MY BOYFRIEND!?

    I feel like there is still an insatiable sex panther in there somewhere. Something isn’t adding up. But the truth is, even with all the love in the world a sexual connection hasn’t really been there between us for two and a half years, no matter how much I wished it was. What’s wrong with me?

    What was really happening to me? I carried shame about who I had been before, so I created a reality where my sexual needs were too much for my committed, loving partner. He rejected certain attempts and spicing it up and I took it personally instead of leaning in. I gathered evidence to support my story that I was too much for him sexually, and it was “adios libidos.” I was living a self-fulfilling prophecy of not being able to love and desire as guests in my house at the same time.

    This is the cycle: Indulge/Act out – Repress/Shut down.

    Many people are trapped in this cycle without realizing it because it’s so normalized in our culture. But normal doesn’t mean healthy.

    When I was indulging and acting out sexually, my life force was activated but it was being wasted away without the alchemical process of cultivating sexual energy into magic. I was acting out unconsciously for attention without awareness of the impact of my behavior on myself and the people I was engaging with.

    When I was repressing my sexual needs or shutting them down completely, I couldn’t hear what my channel was saying and my creativity was dulled. It was like I turned the dial down my own life force. I was dim. I was hiding my true self, thus preventing myself from accessing the deep love and abundance that is freely available to us all.

    So What Did I Do Differently?

    I wrote a new chapter of my life. I began treating sex as a sacred practice deserving of honor and respect. Your sex life is a microcosm of the macrocosm of your life. I discovered this firsthand when I went on a mission to stop apologizing for any aspect of myself as a sexual being.

    • I began to eradicate sexual shame when I stopped judging myself for what turns me on and what doesn’t. I liked to ‘be bad’ so I gave myself permission to harness that energy in sex with a chosen partner in a way that was in alignment and fueled both of us.
    • I voiced the nuance of the specific kind of touch and eye contact I like that I had written off as being complicated and sensitive.
    • I began asking for what I wanted even if it might make someone uncomfortable. I let my softer side be known, the one who doesn’t always want it, but sometimes wants to just be present together instead. The one who speaks up when its not quite right, but opens to give adjustments.
    • I claimed my vivacious, fiery sexuality with a foundation of integrity and alignment, allowing me to truly be taken and take when that’s what wanted to happen.
    • Having sex became about allowing myself to be seen and exploring the depth of intimacy and connection that occurs when I show up in my full wild desire, sober, present and alive.
    • I opened up a new ability to enter altered states of consciousness and experience God through sexual union. During this time, I channeled and created Erotic Wiring™, which is a new system for transforming your life through exploring your erotic self.

    My unharnessed sexual desire existed as dead weight, stuck in my body, holding me back.  Through my awakening, this potent energy store became the force and foundation upon which I built my business. I found the courage to quit the streams of income that were no longer in alignment with my newly discovered self and I replaced them with ones that were. Connections came to me in synchronistic ways and I began making more money from unexpected places. My thriving business, which has since shifted a couple more times, began to emerge.

    Now, my hot sex life is a churning source of power, full of self-expression, play, and spirituality. I regularly ask myself the question, “Am I having the sex I want to be having?” and if the answer is no, I feel completely empowered to change that. The same goes when I ask myself, “Am I living the life I want to be living?”

    The way I approach my hot sex life has blasted open my creative channel and empowered me to make more money while living my purpose.

    Care to to join me?

    Turn On Your Erotic Wiring™, Transform Your Life

    Do you want to blow the lid off your sexual and business potential? Try the following:

    1. Practice asking directly for what you truly desire with your partner.

    It seems so simple, but are you doing it? Really?

    Having our deepest desires witnessed by someone we love is incredibly vulnerable. If you want to increase intimacy and connection in your relationship, start by sharing what you really want that you are not saying. Knowing what you want and how to ask for it specifically and confidently is one of the greatest skills one can hone in business. If you feel scared, start with some “smaller” things to build a sense of trust and safety. The energy shift you experience will be enough to push you into the bigger asks.

    I recently worked with a couple where the woman uncovered and finally voiced her desire to surrender completely to her partner. This felt weird and backward to her because both her and her partner viewed her as a powerful woman. Her partner, to her surprise, greeted her desire with open arms because he wanted to step more fully into his unapologetic masculine power. Consciously activating the masculine-feminine polarity in their relationship sky-rocketed their sex life and their careers soon followed. His business came out of a dry spell after a major re-direction and she tripled her income.

    2. Practice the skills you want in life in the bedroom.

    Turn your sex life into a practice court. I’m a big fan of playing beach volleyball. I sucked at setting, so I went to the beach and practiced. It was clunky at first but I got better and now I set that volleyball with precision!

    Just like any skill, with practice in your erotic court, you can become a master of communication, opening your intuition, listening, owning your power, commanding a space, surrendering to flow and harnessing your energy. Plus, when you know how to navigate all the sections of the Erotic Menu™ you become a masterful lover in the process.

    I look at my life and what needs to be balanced and I happily bring it to the bedroom to “work it out.” Being a purpose-driven, growth-oriented individual, this is the fulfillment of my dream. I have found an endless well of personal development that I can draw from.

    3. Dance with your sex demons.

    In Jungian psychology, the “shadow” is the part of ourselves that we don’t want to see and feel the most shame around. We separate off these shadow aspects and lock them up, not allowing them to be part of our conscious experience. But behind closed doors they haunt us, controlling our behavior whether we want them to or not.

    If you feel bored or confused in your career, this is an indication to go deeper into conscious sexual exploration. What part of yourself are you afraid of seeing right now? Confusion and boredom are showing us it’s time to go deeper and access a new part of ourselves. Work it out on your erotic practice court!

    Even when a secret desire seems like it’s really pushing the limits of common cultural taboos, often it isn’t even about what we think it is. We don’t know what’s in the dark room until we open the door and turn on a light. We don’t need to act on everything and it’s a good thing we don’t, but when we can face the truth of our desire we are free.

    Here is your permission to open the door. Your hot sex life and business breakthrough are waiting.

    Are you ready?

    It’s really fun.

     Jamie Elizabeth Thompson is a Holistic Sex and Intimacy Coach with clients around the globe. She specializes in teaching impact-driven couples and individuals the tools to meet their sexual and intimacy needs and navigate challenges and conflict masterfully through open, loving communication. She refers to this practice as “intimate tai chi.”

    Combining Jungian psychology, the Quantum Field, communication techniques based in neuroscience and non-dualism, and somatic movement reprogramming, Jamie uses her ten years of coaching experience to give her clients the safety and tools to harness their erotic intelligence and create empowered, purposeful lives with thriving intimate relationships.
    Erotic Wiring™, is a transformational tool developed by Jamie to tease out what turns you on, what your sexual super powers are, and the unique erotic path that will help you attain optimum personal growth. By using the Erotic Menu™, you will receive a you-centered recipe for hot sex and deep intimacy that elevates your superpower for maximum impact in every aspect of your life.
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  • ‘Un-Networking’: The Art Of Leading With Yourself, Not Your Business Card

    ‘Un-Networking’: The Art Of Leading With Yourself, Not Your Business Card

    We live in an age where you have just a few seconds to impress someone with your website, tagline, or bio.

    We have become masters at engineering the “perfect” profiles to hook others in and the right pitches to land the job or career advancements we want. If you can outperform your competition, or your business has 100,000 likes on Facebook, by today’s standards, you should feel accomplished.

    But the truth is, most of us are still starving for something more.

    We’re tired of having to impress all the time and are sick of the superficial, transaction-based relationships. We want to be seen for something deeper than our LinkedIn profiles or our ability to add zeroes to a spreadsheet. We want to be seen for who we are.

    That’s why two millennials are taking a stand for a deeper kind of business connection based on depth and substance. No more leading with your business card, period.

    Meet Bri Seeley and Thaís Sky, the founders of The AMPLIFY Collective, a movement to unite entrepreneurs on the basis of who they are, rather than what they do. The LA-based duo is famous for hosting standout events that provide entrepreneurs with both the authentic connection they crave and the business collaboration they need to thrive.

    I caught up with Seeley and Sky on the latest episode of the Unconventional Life podcast, “Un-Networking: Build a Network You Can Depend On By Leading With Yourself, Not Your Business Card.”

    Sky and Seeley launched The AMPLIFY Collective as an alternative approach to the traditional way of networking. They found that, despite having extensive networks, many entrepreneurs were still starving for real and authentic connection.

    The AMPLIFY Collective was born from the idea that you don’t have to sacrifice friendship for success. You can actually have the best of both worlds: meaningful, one-to-one relationships within a community of ambitious entrepreneurs who have your back.

    The secret lies in what Sky and Seeley call “un-networking,” a methodology they developed that fosters connection on the grounds of who you are, rather than what you have accomplished.

    “It’s more important to show up as who you are than what you do. Don’t lead as your job title—it creates a barrier between people. Form a relationship first, get to know the other person and then call them up for their business skills because you love who they are,” Seeley says.

    The duo claims that when we approach business collaboration from an authentic standpoint, it yields better results. According to the Harvard Business Review, when authenticity is perceived in a business relationship, trust, engagement, and commitment are highest.

    “Business takes place in a greater capacity without the cheesy elevator pitch,” Sky jokes. “Too many of us hide behind what we do without getting to the core of who we are. People buy from us because of who we are, not because of our website.”

    The AMPLIFY Collective currently hosts three events per month to entrepreneurs through its membership offering. The events are distinguished for squashing superficial, transactional exchanges in the name of refreshingly intimate and genuine connection.

    Below, Seeley and Sky share how you can transform your own business relationships to feel meaningful and relevant to you

    1. Lead with yourself. Who you are is your greatest accomplishment, and should be at the forefront of an introduction. Lead with what it is that wakes you up in the morning and drives you every single day, or the kind of change you’re standing for in the world. Make sure to omit your job title and how successful you are—these things are secondary and have nothing to do with you.

    2. Focus on the value you get from the relationship. Don’t go into an interaction with an agenda or something you’re trying to get from the other person. Instead, simply let the relationship with that person and the joy you get from knowing them be enough. Others can sense when your motivation for connecting with them isn’t pure and it creates a barrier between you both. If you do really need help with something, disclose that and be fully transparent rather than coercive.

    3. Let the business value emerge from a space of authenticity. Let the foundation for your connection be a commitment to show up as a friend for the other person regardless of what you get in return. From that space, allow any business collaboration to emerge organically. An added benefit to waiting is that you are more likely to understand the other person’s unique skill set and where they are best suited to serve you after you really know them. The quality of the collaboration will be much higher as well as feel better for you both—instead of feeling used or disposable, you’ll feel like a valued friend.

    Enjoyed this post? Check out more of my tools to create a life you love here.