Unconventional Life – Podcast, Blog, Live Events

Author: Jules Schroeder

  • Fearvana: How Millennials Are Using Fear As A Gateway To Bliss

    Fearvana: How Millennials Are Using Fear As A Gateway To Bliss

    I remember when I graduated college and told my dad instead of getting a “real job” I was going to launch a feather hair extension business. He thought I was out of my mind and was quite angry with me. As someone who had worked on Wall Street his entire life he had always prioritized a steady pay check, consistency and the “safe” choice.

    Years later I discovered he wasn’t angry with me—he was afraid for me. Like so many of his peers, the idea of opting for more stress and uncertainty seemed unnecessary and something to be avoided at all costs.

    I didn’t know it at the time, but my decision to lean into fear and pursue business for myself would be the catalyst for my success. Moreover, a way of operating; a tool in my toolkit that I have exercised ever since.

    What I am referring to is the concept of “Fearvana,” coined by Akshay Nanavati as the method of using fear as a gateway to bliss.

    I find millennials are leading by example, using fear in a different way than our parents did to disrupt industries, create innovative solutions to world problems, and prioritize our own personal development.

    Fearvana is more than just a new way of living it is a book endorsed by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Fearvana’s author, Akshay Nanavati, is also a nonprofit founder, success coach, speaker, and Marine Corps Veteran.

    Nanavati says the six years he spent in the military forced him to develop an intimate relationship with fear. Stationed in post-9/11 Iraq, Nanavati often confronted the possibility of losing his life.

    In his dance with fear, he found something surprising. According to Nanavati, fear and bliss are actually two sides of the same coin. That is, if we seek to experience bliss, the path leading us there is our fear.

    This week on the Unconventional Life Podcast, Nanavati invites us into the world of Fearvana—that is, what it means to tap into fear as a wellspring of bliss.

    Fear Shows You What’s Worth Fighting For

    Nanavati says we all have a worthy struggle: something in our life that deserves our relentless attention and pursuit. For me, my worthy struggle is my business. The presence of fear is what makes our struggle worth fighting for.

    To motivate yourself to stay on track, you Nanavati recommends you surround yourself with triggers called “spark moments,” whose purpose is to ignite the fighter within you. Think Michael Jordan getting rejected from the varsity basketball team—it stirred up a sense of resilience and rebound in him towards his goal.

    Imprint your subconscious,” says Nanavati. “Look for sparks to help inspire you to stay on your worthy struggle and surround yourself with them.”

    Stress Is Your Ally

    If you find yourself feeling stressed, don’t interpret this as bad news. Though we live in a culture that considers stress something to be minimized, Nanavati says stress is actually a good thing.

    “Fear, stress, anxiety, that’s a normal part of life and you’re going to experience it and they don’t have to be a negative thing. When you choose to perceive the response of stress as something that can serve you it can translate into something meaningful,” he advises.

    In the same way stress in the body is necessary to build muscle, stress in the realm of the mind and spirit is necessary to build character. Recognize stress as a necessary part of your worthy struggle and an ally in promoting growth.

    According to Kelly McGonigal, a Stanford health psychologist, “Viewing stress as a resource can transform the physiology of fear into the biology of courage.”

    Conserve Your Willpower

    Science tells us willpower is a limited resource—a muscle that can be worked to exhaustion. The more we draw upon it, the less we have to utilize in future challenges.

    Nanavati recommends being strategic with your willpower so that it will be available to you in the decisive moments that you need it.

    Consider “automating” your day to enable you to run on autopilot and minimize the amount of deliberate decisions you need to make. Nanavati uses an app on his phone to establish guided external structure that reminds him what he needs to do and when so he doesn’t draw from his willpower.

    “Every area of my life is systematized to remove thinking as much as possible,” he says. “Then I pick one moment in the day where I’m exercising the entirety of my focus into one activity, because when you do that willpower can be limitless. In at least one endeavor you want to push that willpower muscle and push the limits of possibility and human potential.”

    When you need to dig deep to fight fear because you’re pursuing something significant, maximizing your willpower reserve will help you overcome and outlast.

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  • What Millennial Millionaires Know That The Rest Of Us Don’t (Yet)

    What Millennial Millionaires Know That The Rest Of Us Don’t (Yet)

    I spent the past week with a group of world class entrepreneurs and an olympian gold medalist in rural Iceland. Surrounded by so much talent, I was in awe of how so many individuals are stepping up to lead and create change.

    The rumors about our generation being entitled and lazy are far from the truth.

    Millennials are successful—we make up 23% of the world’s millionaires.

    We’re responsible for founding more businesses than any generation before us, and we’ve played a huge role in shifting the trend towards social impact.

    What’s beneath our success?

    I believe at the root of it is our commitment to turn inward and invest in ourselves while bringing awareness to our environment. Inner work is a key element to outer success. Which is why millennial millionaires like Airbnb’s founders Brian Chesky, Nathan Blecharczyk, and Joe Gebbia credit personal development as a significant factor to their growth.

    Could personal development help propel you towards greater advancement in your career and income?

    I spoke with one millennial who says it can. Meet Sydney Campos, a leading transformation mentor who supports young entrepreneurs with comprehensive holistic wellness, business strategy, and mindset mastery. She’s also a former NYC-agency ad & PR consultant, a certified yoga teacher and reiki energy healer, and an avid traveler who currently calls Ubud, Bali home base.

    This week on the Unconventional Life Podcast, Campos takes us behind-the-scenes of her success.

    Just one year ago, Campos was a typical millennial working as a consultant. She says her income surged when she decided to quit her job and launch her own practice, which, in the last few months alone, has netted $150k.

    Let’s dive into Sydney’s world to see how the millionaire mind thinks.

    You Are Worth What You Think You’re Worth

    Psychologists have long known about the relationship between self-worth and money. What they find with those who tend to have more wealth is that these people also have a high sense of self-worth. In other words, net worth and self worth go hand-in-hand.

    “The amount of money you are able to hold and receive is directly correlated to how you are feeling worthy in your life and the way you value your services. Worthy of receiving on all levels—not just money but worthy of receiving love and healthy, nourishing relationships. All these things that seemingly don’t feel connected to money are actually intrinsically related to the amount of money you are able to receive in your business,” Campos says.

    To increase your sense of self-worth, Campos says it’s important to have self-awareness about the areas in your life where you’re not being a stand for yourself.

    In 2015, 94% of millennials said they made a commitment to personal improvement, and would be willing to spend a significant portion of their income on developing themselves. Are you one of them?

    Honor Your Own Boundaries

    Holding personal boundaries around your time and energy is essential. We often don’t think twice about surrounding ourselves with people who drain us rather than replenish us. But if you’re aspiring to 7-figures, you’ll need to hold a much tighter container around how you give away your time and yourself—time is a precious resource and you need to be resourced to show up fully to your commitments.

    Mark Zuckerberg says, “The question I ask myself most every day is ‘Am I doing the most important thing I could … I can help with, then I’m not going to feel good about how I’m spending my time.”

    For a direct application, ask yourself, “What are the relationships in your life where you’re giving more of yourself than you’re getting in return?” Campos suggests.

    Act In The Face Of Fear

    While 64% of millennials say they can’t see themselves becoming a millionaire, I’d wager they still want to.

    Campos says if she had listened to her self-limiting thoughts, she would have stayed in her old job and would never be earning what she is today.

    “We’ve been conditioned to listen to our first-presenting thought which is usually rooted in a fear, a scarcity, a doubt, an old pattern, an old imprint,” Campos says. “Even if you’re afraid, even if you’re resistant, even if you’re not sure how things are going to work, you take the action anyways.”

    Working for someone else could be an inhibitor to accumulating wealth quickly as a young person. 82% of women making $100k annually are self-made, earning money through direct sales.

    Campos recommends getting out of your comfort zone and into action. Create a concrete plan to save more, launch a business, or get a mentor—anything you know will shatter stagnicity and hold you accountable to your goals.

    Enjoyed this post? Check out more of my tools to create a life by your own design.

    This article originally appeared on Forbes.com

  • Millennials, Don’t Make These 5 Mistakes As A Freelancer

    Millennials, Don’t Make These 5 Mistakes As A Freelancer

    In the world of freelancing, many of us are all too familiar with the pressure to hustle, pay bills, and “make it.”

    I remember a time in my early twenties when I was struggling and would take almost any gig I could get just to make ends meet. On any given day I would be website coding, coaching clients, making marketing funnels, or finding tenants for rental properties.

    Currently, one in three US workers are freelancing, with that number projected to rise to one in two by 2020.

    The flexible hours, no boss or office, and no fixed wage are just a few of the perks that have attracted so many to freelancing. Not to mention, 61% of freelancers say they’re happier now than they were as an employee.

    But freelancing, like anything, has its pitfalls—and it’s essential to be aware of them if you want to succeed.

    That’s why I spoke to an expert about what it takes to be successful as a freelancer. He’s built quite the reputation for himself in a particularly competitive field.

    Meet Jeff Toyne, a Canadian-born composer who has worked on major film productions like Nine Eleven, the new release starring Whoopi Goldberg and Charlie Sheen; DirecTV’s Rogue, My Little Pony The Movie, and various titles for Lifetime, Hallmark, and The Discovery Channel.Toyne is no stranger to the hustle. As a composer, he says he’s interacted with occasionally needing to do what he had to in order to “keep the lights on,” especially before he caught his first big break.

    This week on the Unconventional Life Podcast, Toyne shares strategies for navigating the challenges of freelancing, which, in spite of being risky, can also be incredibly rewarding—because there’s no substitute for doing what you love.

    Below, read Toyne’s 5 mistakes to avoid for playing the field as a freelancer.

    1. Don’t wait until your portfolio is perfect. Toyne says a major stumbling block of his was believing he didn’t have a shot until his demo was flawless. “I had just got out of school, and I was trying to perfect it for these filmmakers. It took me a year before I got in touch with them, and when I finally did they said,’It’s a shame didn’t have your number. We were making a movie but we didn’t have your number so we got someone else to do it,’” Toyne recalls.

    Don’t let opportunities pass you by because you don’t yet feel ready. You might be surprised by someone’s willingness to work with you, even if you don’t have all of your materials the way you’d like them to be. Instead, seize the moment and pursue opportunities that may feel even a few steps out of your league. This approach can actually help you build your portfolio in the process.

    2. Don’t be a snob about the gigs you accept. Let’s face it—with freelancing, you don’t always have your work lined out for you. There’s no built-in sense of security. But that’s part of the thrill.

    Occasionally, you may have to accept jobs that aren’t your first choice, but will help you gain relevant experience and lay the foundation for getting better jobs later on. “Until your big break comes and connects you to this random opportunity, there’s all sorts of things you can do to keep the lights on and work close to what you want to be doing in the meantime,” says Toyne. “It’s possible to do work that may not be the exact job you want to do but it’s in the industry you want to do. It’s a way to keep your skills sharp. There is no ‘path;’ you need to put yourself out there for different opportunities.”

    3. Don’t forget to outsource. Don’t waste your time fumbling with tasks you don’t specialize in. Instead, do some independent contracting of your own, and hire somebody else to do it for you. You’ll become more efficient and have more time to dedicate yourself to your craft.

    Toyne says social media is a headache for him, so he outsources it. “I’m busy writing the music, but I want people to know what I’m doing so I have somebody help me get the word out.

    4. Don’t underestimate the power of relationships. As a freelancer, you might find you’re not directly connected to the people in a project who could really elevate you. For Toyne, he says he’ll spend weeks composing the post-production scores for a film but won’t see the actors or director face-to-face until the red carpet.

    If this is the case, you’ll need to put in extra effort to make yourself known and nurture those connections. Don’t be passive or assume they’ll happen on their own; take initiative. “You want to interact and socialize with the people you’re working with… they are a great source of leads,” Toyne recommends.

    5. Don’t try to do it all alone. It can be invaluable to get in community with others like you. You can learn what others are doing that’s working and potentially collaborate on projects that are mutually beneficial. Plus, as a freelancer, you may be missing the fact that you don’t have built-in coworkers or an office populated with people. Socialization is key, so make sure to join groups and guilds that put you in touch with others like you. Toyne says he’s a member of a composer’s guild and a director’s guild in Canada.

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  • HowEp99: This 21-Year-Old Open Heart Patient Started A Booming Business While Still In College

    HowEp99: This 21-Year-Old Open Heart Patient Started A Booming Business While Still In College

    While most of us are worried about how many Twitter followers we have, or whether or not we should get the new tesla, or swipe right on Bumble, one millennial I spoke with has had a few other things on his mind.

    Meet Daniel Wallock, a 21-year-old college student at Sarah Lawrence College who was born with a rare heart condition called dextrocardia, which means his heart is on the right side of his body. Dextrocardia affects just 1% of the population.

    Throughout his life, Wallock has undergone several open-heart surgeries and lived with the reality that any given day could be his last.

    “I really didn’t think I’d live past high school,” he says. “I was really convinced that there was no possibility I’d have life beyond that. For me it’s always been every single day, I feel sort of intense urgency.”

    Wallock’s unique perspective has driven him to start his career early—and fearlessly. He taught himself marketing in his early teens, and since has consulted high-profile clients like BMW Ventures, Amazon Studios, and the American Heart Association. Not to mention, he’s also a published author and an honoree of Inc.’s Top 8 Marketers to Follow in 2017.

    This week on the Unconventional Life Podcast, Wallock shares his story and gives millennial listeners a few of his top-performing strategies for creating create rapid results in their business, which you can read in the section below.

    If you’re looking to kick your career into gear, the horsepower this young cardiac patient brings will help you.

    Master The Art Of Cold Outreach.

    As a mere 21-year-old, Wallock has a spiffy rolodex of contacts including figureheads like Neil Patel and Arianna Huffington. How’d he do it?

    You wouldn’t believe it, but Wallock says it was a product of cold outreach. If your cold emails aren’t converting, consider the following strategies.

    #1 Use Multi-Channel Engagement. Touch base with your target on every platform they use. A quick tweet here, an in-depth comment there, and frequent likes and shares will do the trick. “In my experience, eventually they’ll intro themselves to you because you are always in front of them,” Wallock says.

    The key is to add value for the other person without having been asked. Study their recent posts and see what’s relevant to them. In one case, Wallock marketed a Forbes editor’s recent article and it blew up on several popular sites as a case study, benefiting Wallock with both marketing exposure and a new relationship.

    #2 Don’t Expect Instant Gratification. According to Wallock, a little investment goes a long way. “I think people underestimate the power of the nurturing process. People want the relationship right now. Nobody knows who you are and they don’t just wanna give something to you.” Commit to dedicating time and energy to properly nurture the relationship in its early stages and it will pay off down the road.

    #3 Quality Over Quantity. If your cold emails don’t typically yield results, consider this quick fix. ”Don’t send 50-100 with the same template. Send 25 custom emails and it will outperform,” says Wallock. Plus, don’t be over-the-top when you first initiate contact. The last thing you want to do is ask the other person for a favor or try to sell them something straight off the bat. Instead, gauge their interest by offering value or suggesting to get on a 15-20 minute call.

    Case Studies Are Your Best Friend.

    Results speak louder than words. Nowadays, 9 out of 10 people are consulting online product reviews and posts on social networks before making a purchasing decision.

    Don’t underestimate the power of social influence—Wallock says you’d be wise to use it to your advantage.

    Have Others Vouch For You. 92% of consumers trust recommendations from others, even people they don’t know, over branded content. Consider asking influencers to publish a review of your product on their blog or social media account. Encourage them to be objective and to disclose that they are working with you to their audiences, because data shows consumers rate being genuine as an important factor in brand-sponsored content.

    “Some brands are doing paid posts with other people’s testimonials on Facebook, and it’s working really well,” Wallock says.

    Enjoyed this post? Check out more of my tools to create a life by your own design.

    This article originally appeared on Forbes.com

  • Ep98: Millennials, Here’s How To Stop Comparing Yourselves To Others

    Ep98: Millennials, Here’s How To Stop Comparing Yourselves To Others

    Open up any social media app and you’re instantly bombarded with real-time updates about what your friends, family, and others in your network are doing.

    Your friend from high school just moved into a glitzy new apartment, your coworker is getting engaged to her dream-come-true partner, your cousin’s crossfit membership is really paying off… and he isn’t being shy about it at all.

    In a world where you’re connected 24/7, it’s incredibly easy to become fixated with everybody else’s highlight reel.

    You might say we have a case of “Obsessive Comparison Disorder,” or a compulsion to constantly compare ourselves to others. Unfortunately, it can have damaging effects on physical and psychological well-being, with social media use being linked to depression, anxiety, and loneliness.

    Furthermore, studies show that millennial mental illness is higher than any other generation in history.

    So how do we go about addressing this?

    I spoke with one millennial who has been living with a closely-related mental health condition his entire life. Meet Ryan Dumont, a former OCD patient and the 25-year-old CEO of Dumont Innovative Technologies and the author of the upcoming book, “The Missing Peace: A Patient’s Guide To Recovery.” Dumont struggled with OCD for years until he decided to take matters into his own hands and develop a solution, partnering with Ben Stern, an ABC’s Shark Tank winner.

    OCD is a close cousin to obsessive comparison disorder—both characterized by anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and excessive worry that can be extremely debilitating.

    This week on the Unconventional Life Podcast, Dumont shares his firsthand perspective on how millennials can break free from both OCD and “obsessive comparisons” to live a more positively-focused life.

    Find Something You’re Passionate About.

    According to Dumont, one of the greatest reliefs you can find from the anxiety that comes with social comparison is in doing an activity you’re passionate about. “Realize that when you’re feeling anxious, you can choose to be unattached. Sometimes when we’re feeling anxious it feels like it’s never gonna end, you’re in this bog—regardless of how accomplished you are—and anxiety takes over. In those moments, what I would say is to distract yourself with something you’re passionate about, something that’s effortless and that puts you in a good mood. The anxiety will pass,” Dumont says.

    The key in choosing an activity is finding one that provides instant and effortless relief. It should be a “low hanging fruit,” so to speak, so you can easily access it in times of distress.

    Having a healthy, fulfilling activity you can turn to instead of spending excessive time on social media can be an effective way to help you live a more positive and productive life. Yale University found those who spend less time using social networks are more happy and healthy than those who use them often.

    Mindfully Meditate.

    When you’re busy comparing yourself to others, it can be difficult to focus on anything else. To gain clarity and stillness of mind, Dumont recommends practicing a form of mindful meditation. “When your mind is racing, meditation can give you a sense of stability. You can say yourself, ‘I’m gonna sit down and relax and I’m not gonna think about anything I’m just gonna be in the moment.’” Being in the moment can pierce through the illusion of past or future worries, and help calm your mind and body.

    Dumont says listen to soothing music and breathe deeply when you meditate to reap the greatest healing benefits. The objective of meditation is to detach from your thoughts and witness them objectively without judgment so you can cultivate deeper self-acceptance. As you become more comfortable with yourself, you may find you no longer feel the need to compare yourself to others.

    Be Patient.

    It takes time to ingrain new patterns and habits, especially when the old habits supply us with a hit of dopamine. The longer you have been struggling with social comparison, the longer you should expect it to take you to reinforce a new, healthier habit. This is normal, and Dumont says it is important to keep a far-sighted perspective of your progress.

    “Nothing happens overnight, life’s a marathon not a race,” Dumont says. “We’re so consumed with everything being instant gratification, we want our problem solved right away. Any obstacle you have is gonna take time, patience, hard work.”

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    This article originally appeared on Forbes.com