Unconventional Life – Podcast, Blog, Live Events

Category: Wellness

  • Ep79: Millennials, Here’s How To Combat The Monday Blues

    Ep79: Millennials, Here’s How To Combat The Monday Blues

    Let’s face it, waking up on a Monday morning can be confronting. For years, I would wake up to the sound of my alarm anticipating emails, phone calls, and my dwindling lack of freedom. Before I would even get out of bed I could feel the stress, anxiety, and lack of passion pile on.

    If this sounds familiar, you may have a case of the “Monday Morning Blues,” that feeling of dread about returning to work on Monday morning. But don’t worry, you’re not alone—it’s a reality for over 75% of workers today.

    For Millennials especially, when left to our own devices, our minds can run wild, with racy distractions wreaking havoc upon our ability to focus and find fulfillment at work while hindering us from achieving our goals.

    Buddhists call it the “monkey mind,” in that our mind’s natural state can tend to be unsettled, restless, indecisive, and uncontrollable. It’s a kind of mental haze that can make focusing on what really matters—like personal and professional goals—close to impossible.

    So how do we tame our minds and get them to work for us rather than against us? Like the old saying goes, “rule your mind or it will rule you.”

    One Millennial at the leading edge of success may be able to help. He says there’s a daily mental practice he lives by to gain dominion over his mind and program it to align with his goals effortlessly.

    Meet Jake Ducey, a 25-year-old 3x published author with Random House/Penguin whose books about leadership, motivation, and human potential have inspired hundreds of thousands to live more meaningful lives. His latest book, Profit From Happiness, teaches readers how to find unity within the junction of wealth, work, and personal fulfillment. Ducey is also a motivational speaker who has delivered a TED talk, and was the first motivational speaker ever on Van’s Warped Tour to reach over 500k Millennials.

    This week on the Unconventional Life Podcast, Ducey reveals the mindset practice that has helped him beat the Monday Morning blues and find success and fulfillment in work more easily.

    Ducey’s practice is based on scientific research about subconscious imprinting. One study claims the average person has about 65,000 thoughts per day, 95% of which are the exact same as the thoughts the day before. In other words, we have a tremendous amount of mental chatter to sort through, and it remains relatively consistent day-to-day.

    Our thoughts are based on stimuli from our external environment—things we are frequently exposed to. On default, many of our thoughts are being influenced by the high volume of data we consume, which may not be supporting us in achieving our goals.

    If we want to change our thoughts, we must change our environment and be conscious of what we are exposing our minds to on a daily basis.

    Ducey says he has successfully reprogrammed his mind to automatically generate thoughts constructive to his goals with a simple daily practice. Below, Ducey shares how to begin this practice in your own life so you can experience greater mental clarity and ease in achieving your own goals.

    1. Determine What Your Goals Are. One of the biggest obstacles we face to attaining our goals is knowing what these goals are. Many of us feel uncertain about the direction we want to take our lives and end up allowing life to pass by us. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you don’t need to have every aspect of your life “figured out” in order to get started. You don’t need to have an all-encompassing plan with every detail squared away. Instead, you can pick just one area of your life that you want to improve, like your health or your relationships, and define what that improvement looks like. You might decide you want to feel energized, agile, and clear in your body, or that you want to feel understood, valued, and connected in your relationships. In this step, determine how you want to feel in one or more areas of your life.

    2. Write Your Goals Down On Paper. Once you know what your goals are, the next step is to write them down on paper—over and over again. Ducey says he writes each goal down as a concise statement that makes sense to him. Then, he’ll write each statement as many as 30-50 times or until he feels it has landed in his mind and body. “The goal is to imprint it on your mind,” Ducey says. “Most people start the day and they get programmed with a bunch of negative things. They’re getting their thoughts and beliefs suggested to them by the outer world—they’re living out of reaction instead of creation.”

    3. Record Yourself Speaking Your Goals. An additional or alternative technique is to record yourself speaking your goal statements and then listen to the audio on repeat. “It’s like how the chorus of a song gets stuck in your head,” Ducey says. “Ever listen to a song and then it’s playing in your head all day?” Setting aside a few minutes each day to listen to your goals will be sufficient to imprint them in your mind and prime your subconscious to take action towards them automatically.

    Enjoyed this post? Check out more of my tools to create a life by your own design.

    This article originally appeared on Forbes.com

  • Ep77: Millennials, This Is What Your Anxiety Is Telling You

    Ep77: Millennials, This Is What Your Anxiety Is Telling You

    As Millennials, anxiety is no stranger to us. We’ve been dubbed “the most anxious generation,”  surpassing our parents, bosses, and grandparents. With so much pressure to live up to our greatest potential or to have “made it” before turning 30 it’s no surprise that so many of us feel anxious.

    I remember being twenty-three and running operations in a publishing company I co-owned. At the time our company was doing over 7-figures, we had a huge team, and a waiting list to work with us. From the outside it seemed as if I had made it. Most days however behind the scenes I would go to bed feeling unsettled. My mind would race, my palms would get hot, and I couldn’t stop feeling worried. One time during a client meeting my heart raced so much I thought I was dying and went to the hospital to find out I was having a panic attack.

    With 86% of millennials going through their own version of a quarter-life crisis, my story is all too common.

    What most of us don’t realize, however, is that these signs are manifestations of something much deeper. According to an expert, “anxiety is an indicator that your life is out of alignment. It’s your intuition, your inner voice, letting you know that something is not right.”

    Meet Tim JP Collins, an expert in anxiety and stress on a mission to demystify anxiety and the place it has in our world. He’s the host of The Anxiety Podcast, a keynote speaker, and a retreat leader based in Vancouver, Canada. Having suffered from anxiety himself for many years, JP Collins speaks from personal experience that infuses his advice with credibility, relatability, and real-world practicality.

    “Some people have a better ability of covering up that reminder of alignment but the more we get in tune with ourselves, our bodies and our minds, the more we can’t ignore it,” JP Collins says.

    This week on the Unconventional Life Podcast, JP Collins shares how you can learn from your anxiety to come back into alignment with yourself.

    Below, read JP Collins’ advice to make peace with your anxiety in 5 powerful steps.

    1. Silence And Space. The way most people try to treat anxiety, JP Collins says, is with an external solution. “We’re often looking for the solution in the next book or the next podcast,” he says. “But it’s not an external thing that comes to you. The tools to change are inside you.” In order to heal your anxiety, JP Collins recommends you turn off and take space from the outside noise you’re used to. These are merely distractions that prevent you from hearing your own voice, which has the answers. Instead of buying another book, consulting another expert, or searching for information online, turn inward.

    2. Listen. In a quiet setting, take out a pen and piece of paper and begin to write. “Leave your phone behind, go for a walk in nature,” JP Collins advises. The goal of the writing is to uncover what in your life is out of alignment and is manifesting as anxiety. Remember, anxiety is the symptom, not the root. The root is misalignment with yourself. Ask yourself core questions like, Am I feeling fulfilled in my job and in my relationships? Am I feeling expressed? Do people know the real me? Do I have community? Do I feel healthy and alive in my body?

    3. Practice The 3 C’s. Once you have answered these questions, JP Collins says to approach where you are with 3 C’s: Curiosity, Courage, and Compassion. If you wrote down that you aren’t feeling fulfilled in your job, bring Curiosity by asking why. Go deeper. Bring Courage by being willing to embrace what comes up. For example, if you find you’re not being authentic in your relationships, embrace the inauthentic part of you. Underneath your inauthenticity may be fear. “Don’t reject it, because it’s part of you,” JP Collins says. Bring Compassion by being gentle with the parts of yourself that feel unfulfilled, lost, stuck, unseen, hurt, or afraid. Take responsibility for your role in creating situations for yourself to feel that way, such as agreeing to work a job you didn’t care about, or staying in a relationship you didn’t love. And finally, recognize your power to make a different choice right now.

  • Ep73: One Trait Top Millennial Performers Have In Common

    Ep73: One Trait Top Millennial Performers Have In Common

    Let’s face it—taking risks can be scary, especially when the stakes are high.

    I remember when I was presenting a business initiative at the UN a few years ago and the performer that was going to kick off the big announcement was unable to make it last minute. I decided to show the production organizer some of my songs and offered to sing as an alternative. I got the gig and was live in 12 hours.

    I ended up doing a twenty-minute improv set the next day, making songs up on the fly. I was met by roaring applause and ovation. Today some of my best contacts come from that event, not because they remembered my business initiative but because they remembered my soul and my voice.

    That’s because business thrives on relationships. One-third of employers rank personality as a worker’s most important quality, above skills and experience. When deciding which brands to buy from, consumers choose brands that have a personality they can identify with.

    Today’s most successful Millennials all have one thing in common: they lead with their personalities. Whether you’re looking to get promoted, build an audience, or find the right business partner, leading with what makes you unique is a worthy risk that will help you advance your career.

    YouTube sensation JP Sears says his online presence exploded after he decided to share his sense of humor with his audience.

    If you don’t know who Sears is, he’s a YouTuber with a rapidly growing following of 1.5M across social platforms, and over 100M video views. He’s most known for his hilarious spoofs on New Age culture, and his book, “How To Be Ultra Spiritual, which launched March 7. Sears is also an emotional healing coach, a retreat leader, and an international teacher.

    This week on the Unconventional Life Podcast, Sears shares how taking this key risk of leading with personality was the accelerator for his brand’s success.

    According to Sears, it wasn’t until two years and 150 videos into his YouTube career that he decided to let his humor appear on camera. Before launching his ‘Ultra Spiritual’ comedy series, Sears’ channel was reserved for sincere life advice.

    Though his channel was successful, Sears says he felt like something was missing. Humor had always been an integral part of his personality, but he worried it would damage his professional image. “I had told myself a story that it would be bad for business to let my sense of humor out on video,” he says.

    In spite of his fear, Sears decided to film his first comedy video. “At the time I thought, this isn’t a good idea, but I’m going to do it anyways,” he recalls.

    The video went viral and spawned demand for a comedy series, which is now the namesake of Sears’ brand. The ‘Ultra Spiritual’ series has over fifty videos and counting, and has done wonders for his business, enabling him to effortlessly sell out coaching sessions and international speaking commitments, as well as propelling him to social media stardom.

    Sears’ message is that risking being 100% authentic is your greatest asset. “You always win when you’re yourself. You can’t lose,” he says.

    Below, Sears shares tips to lead with your personality and showcase what makes you unique.

    Get Connected To Your Why

    Being authentic can be scary, and if you’re not connected to why it’s important, it’s much easier to just play it safe and hide.

    Sears says what drove him to release his first comedy video was the pain of withholding a key part of himself from the world. If he never stepped up to the plate and shared his humor, he said he’d resent himself and feel empty inside.

    Ask yourself, what would it cost me if I lived my whole life never letting this part of myself shine? Be honest, connect to the pain, and use this propel you towards courage.

    Embrace Your Insecurities

    One of the biggest roadblocks we encounter in the way of being authentic is insecurity. When we judge ourselves, we anticipate others will judge us too, which can keep us from sharing certain aspects of ourselves.

    “It’s ok to feel insecure,” says Sears. “All people are insecure. We have to be willing to embrace the insecurity as part of our nature, and to become aware of it. The more we know what our insecurities are the more we can grow beyond them and live with them.”

    Ask yourself, what are my insecurity-driven behaviors? What do I avoid doing? Once you gain awareness of your insecurities, you have the power to recognize them for what they are and show up powerfully by acting in opposition to them.

  • Ep72: Millennials, Here’s Why You’re Dissatisfied At Work

    Ep72: Millennials, Here’s Why You’re Dissatisfied At Work

    Dissatisfaction in our interpersonal relationships often spills over into our work. Especially when it is with our managers or coworkers.

    I remember the first time I was a part of a big sales team my freshman year in college. I dreaded going into work and attending company functions, and avoided awkward encounters with coworkers at all costs. As a new face in the company, and someone quickly climbing the ranks as the Top Manager in Colorado, many of my coworkers had trouble welcoming me. I was constantly being undermined or seen as a threat and found myself in conflict with others.

    That summer, everything shifted. The change was so significant that my team went from earning $1M to $6M in a span of just six months. Why? We started focusing on our relationships, welcoming different perspectives and seeing each other as more than just coworkers, but as people, which made executing easy.

    Studies show a clear link between strong employee ties and a business’s overall output. As team bonds strengthen, productivity and sales increase—31 to 37 percent on average, says the Harvard Business Review.

    So how do you build stronger relationships with your coworkers?

    Meet Sean Wilkinson, John Thompson, and Jordan Myska Allen, the founders of Circling Europe, a relational practice that has grown in over 20 countries in just the last few years through in-person workshops and online courses that foster deeper presence, self-awareness, and connection. Tens of thousands worldwide practice circling, including many big Silicon Valley tech companies as their secret weapon in working through conflict and building trust.

    “The basis of the practice is it’s an interpersonal meditation—trying to make room for whatever’s present in the connection in the moment,” says Thompson.

    This week on the Unconventional Life Podcast, Wilkinson, Thompson, and Myska Allen share how you can master the five pillars of circling in order to build rock-solid relationships at work that promote productivity and job satisfaction.

    1. Be Committed Through Connection.

    While it’s often easier to just disconnect or hit the “eject” button when you’re in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, there is tremendous value in weathering the situation through the discomfort. You’ll find that in your willingness to be with discomfort, you’ll grow more connected to others.

    When a situation arises that has you feeling uncomfortable, wanting to leave, or modify it somehow, choose to stay in the situation exactly how it is. For example, if you’re experiencing conflict with a coworker, don’t try to appease the other person. Instead, allow the other person and yourself to feel hurt, frustrated, or whatever is real. Use these emotions as a gateway to grow closer to one another. In feeling, hearing, and witnessing the other person’s authentic expression, you create trust and safety in your relationship. Conflict becomes easier; instead of avoiding it, it becomes welcome terrain and an inquiry for deeper connection.

    2. Trust Your Experience.

    We live in a world of “shoulds”—how we should act in a given situation, what’s appropriate, and how we should feel. As a result, we often feel conflicted when how we actually feel isn’t how we think we’re supposed to.

    Wilkinson, Thompson, and Myska-Allen recommend letting go completely of the notion of “should,” as it often prevents your real emotions from being expressed or having permission to be there. Instead, trust that what you’re feeling is exactly what you’re supposed to be feeling. Allow yourself to express authentically and you will allow others to connect to you more intimately.

    3. Be With The Other Person In Their World.

    Psychology tells us that empathy and understanding build bridges between ourselves and others. In imagining yourself in the other person’s shoes, you acknowledge their experience and demonstrate care for them.

    Pay attention to your coworkers’ expressions, gestures, and body language when you interact with them. In noticing the subtleties of their expression, you will become more attuned to them, enhancing nonverbal communication and promoting relational closeness.

    4. Own Your Experience.

    Take responsibility for your emotions and in the same way, hold others responsible for their emotions. Recognize that you can’t “make” anyone else feel a certain way, but rather how they feel is a choice. The more you can take responsibility for what you are feeling and name it in it’s most accurate form without blaming others the more powerful your communication will be .

    Oftentimes we hold back from sharing the truth of how we feel with others because we don’t want to cause them pain or we want to avoid conflict. But withholding things denies you both the opportunity of genuine connection. In a work environment, feeling unable to share everything with your team members contributes to distance, lack of cohesion, and ultimately a team that is less effective. Commit to being honest with your coworkers and create an environment where everyone feels safe to speak up, especially when it’s hard. Cultivate the art of being both honest and sensitive by sharing your truth in a way that is respectful and considerate.

    5. Stay At The Level of Sensation.

    Wilkinson, Thompson, and Myska Allen say the gold standard for communication occurs at the level of the body. Focus on how you feel. Ask yourself, what is going on in my body in this moment?

    If you feel tightness in your chest when you’re interacting with someone, use that as a cue that there may be more to explore with the other person. Be honest about your experience, and invite the other person into your world. In staying in your body, you’ll remain connected to your emotions and be able to experience the flourishing of your relationships on a visceral level.

    Enjoyed this post? Check out more of my tools to create a life by your own design.

    This article originally appeared on Forbes.com

  • Ep70: The Psychology Behind Why We Procrastinate (And How You Can Beat It)

    Ep70: The Psychology Behind Why We Procrastinate (And How You Can Beat It)

    Procrastination—we’ve all done it. Some of us are repeat offenders and some of us find ourselves backed into a corner because of stress.

    If you’re anything like me, you’ve read book after book, told yourself you would get better at time management, and worked hard to set clearer goals. But despite all the effort, discipline, and cranking down, nothing seems to work.

    For me, it wasn’t until I met a woman on my travels in Bali that I discovered I’d been going about trying to beat procrastination all wrong.

    You see, despite what you may have been told, the fight against procrastination isn’t a mental one. No amount of reasoning and willpower will make any difference—in fact, they’ll leave you feeling burned out and worse off than before.

    The key player in defeating procrastination is actually a behavior pattern you can program yourself to do in just a few short weeks…

    Sound too good to be true?

    Don’t take my word for it—meet the productivity expert I met in Bali, Carey Gjokaj. She’s the founder of Lifehack Bootcamp, an 8-week online program that teaches you how to end the vicious cycle of procrastination and become an expert at time management. Through Lifehack Bootcamp, Gjokaj has helped thousands of people worldwide to become immediate action-takers who optimize what they get done in a day.

    This week on the Unconventional Life Podcast, Gjokaj shares her tips for making procrastination a thing of the past and embracing productivity.

    “We try to reason our brains into productivity but it doesn’t work,” Gjokaj says. “‘Wake up, let’s do this today, let’s get stuff done,” we tell ourselves. We have to realize that productivity is controlled by a completely different part of our brain. It’s not an intellectual concept. It’s a habit run by the animal part of our brain and we’re the animal trainer.”

    Are you ready to train your brain to make a habit out of productivity?

    Studies show the average person can form a new habit in just 66 days. Reclaim your time and peace of mind by applying Gjokaj’s method for maxing out your productivity below.

    Distraction-Proof Your Work Space

    Referencing research by Gallup, Gjokaj says, “some type of distraction is getting us off of our workflow every three minutes and five seconds. But it also takes our brain time after we’re distracted to ramp back up to the level of productivity we were at before—so you’re not just losing the time it took to answer that text message. It’s that time plus the amount of time it takes you to ramp back up.”

    You can reclaim lost time by making your work space a distraction-free zone. Gjokaj recommends setting your phone and computer to “do not disturb” mode, working in a small room with the door shut, and decluttering your desktop by dragging scattered files into folders. You can also set your desktop background to an inspirational quote that reminds you of your larger mission and keeps you committed to focus.

    Take Frequent Breaks

    If “getting in the zone” and cranking down for long periods of time is how you work, you’re actually being less effective. Studies show if we break down our work time into smaller blocks followed by short breaks, we actually get more done because we allow our brain to replenish energy and focus.

    “It’s the difference between a sprinter and a marathon runner,” Gjokaj says. For maximum productivity, she advises breaking down your work into smaller tasks and taking a short break every thirty minutes or so.

    Work Towards A Weekly Goal

    Identify one goal each week that would be a cause for celebration if you attained it. Gjokaj calls these goals “champagne moments” because they call for opening a bottle of champagne when they’re completed.

    Make sure this goal is attainable but also requires you to challenge yourself. Break down the goal into daily action steps that will keep you on track to finish by the end of the week.

    You can turn each day into a game by racing against the clock and trying to beat your best time on each of your tasks. When you’ve completed each day’s tasks, let yourself be done with work for the day and feel a sense of accomplishment.

    Reward Yourself

    Science shows that when we reward ourselves for doing a particular behavior, we become more motivated to do that behavior and are more productive at it. Essentially, the reward triggers the pleasure neurotransmitter dopamine to flow into our brains, so we associate the behavior with pleasure. You can use your biology to your advantage by programming your brain to associate work with pleasure.

    Each time you complete a small work task, reward yourself with something small, like an m&m or a few minutes of free time.

    “We need to reward our brain for doing good work,” Gjokaj says. “It doesn’t have to be big—just something big enough that it gives your brain a jolt of pleasure that burns those cognitive patterns deeper and deeper each time. That’s how you create habits that are gonna be there for you 24/7, especially when it’s really hard.”

    Enjoyed this post? Check out more of my tools to create a life by your own design.

    This article originally appeared on Forbes.com