Unconventional Life – Podcast, Blog, Live Events

Category: Wellness

Millennials, This Is What Your Quarter-Life Crisis Is Telling You

It was 2 months before my 25th birthday. Everything in my life seemed upside down. My business was no longer exciting me, working out seemed mundane, and hanging out with friends felt like a chore.

I started asking myself, do I really have the success that I thought I would have? Am I actually creating an impact on the world? Am I happy? What’s the point of all this anyway?

I had found myself in a quarter-life crisis, or as The Museputs it, “a period of intense soul-searching and stress occurring in your mid 20s to early 30s,” typically because you feel you’re not achieving your full potential or are falling behind.

According to The Guardian, the quarter-life crisis affects 86% of millennials, who report being bogged down by insecurities, disappointments, loneliness, and depression. Millennials, it’s less of a question of if you will experience a quarter-life crisis than it is a question of when.

Fortunately, the quarter-life crisis doesn’t have to be something to fear. One young person shows us that it can actually be the thing you need to experience to take your life to the next level.

Meet Robert MacNaughton, the cofounder and CEO of the Integral Center in Boulder, CO, an organization that is at cutting edge of personal and relational development. Through MacNaughton’s work he has helped tens of thousands create a massive impact in their lives and relationships. However, this would never have been possible for MacNaughton if he hadn’t rerouted his life at the crucible of a quarter-life crisis.

I caught up with MacNaughton on the latest episode of Unconventional Life, “How to Beat the Quarter-Life Crisis and Uncover Your Life Purpose.”

MacNaughton grew up in the deep south of Atlanta, Georgia. He was raised Catholic and attended a preparatory school, where “good Southern values” were instilled into him. Unlike most kids, MacNaughton was reluctant to accept what he was told as fact. He challenged the status quo, doubted his religious teachings, and refused to participate in the mainstream culture.

MacNaughton recalls asking grand questions like, “What are these things that our family and culture is enrolling us into and saying we should care about? Why should we care about them and why should we just go through the motions?”

He calls these things ‘Postmodern Integral Theory,’ which reflect a healthy skepticism towards traditional world views in order to transcend limited thinking and achieve greater mindfulness.

It wasn’t until after graduating from college with a degree in music that MacNaughton’s questioning was truly put to the test. He had completed the socially-sanctioned path to education, yet he still felt lost, empty, and absent of purpose.

Like all millennials in a quarter-life crisis, he had a choice to make: to succumb deeper to the depression, or to leverage the pressure as a force for change.

Choosing the latter, MacNaughton applied for a job fixing computers at the Integral Institute, and was hired. Immersed in an environment of personal growth and accountability, he was able to take charge of his life and gain the expertise to ultimately found his own branch of the Integral Institute in Boulder, CO.

Years later, the Integral Center at Boulder has evolved into an in-demand educational center through hosting events like the Relational Leadership Summit for business leaders and executives, or through providing a platform for thousands to experience personal and relational transformation. Below, MacNaughton shares how you can hone into a quarter-life crisis and reroute yourself on the path to fulfillment and service.

1. Step up and create the things you want to see in the world. MacNaughton created the Integral Center because he saw a tremendous need for it in his community. Rather than waiting around for someone else to build it, he stepped up and did it on his own. Drop the excuses about why you’re not the right one for the job: if you really want to see something get done in the world, who better than to do it than you?

2. Stop trying to please others. “When I started thinking, what do other people want? What is the market hungry for? Those endeavors were the greatest failures,” MacNaughton says. Many of us create from a place of anticipating what others will want and trying to fulfill their needs. But when we create solely for others, it leaves us feeling empty, and oftentimes we’re unable to satisfy them afterall. Instead, focus on yourself and create things for the sake of your own enjoyment.

3. Listen to your inner voice. “Your life purpose doesn’t yell at you, it whispers,” MacNaughton says. “You need to be listening for what’s whispering to you and what tingles the heart.” It can be tricky to recognize your own voice after you’ve spent most of your life listening to others, so listen carefully. Tune into what excites you and head in the direction of your joy.

4. Uncover your identity by trying new things. You might not know yourself as well as you think you do. “The war of our identity and figuring out who we are and what we care about is our opportunity. This is the reason to get out of bed in the morning. Start a business, post something on Facebook and see what happens,” MacNaughton says.

5. Tap into your resistance. Notice where you are feeling resistant to taking action or having trouble being with something. These wells of resistance are the greatest source for us to discover where our edge is and where we have room to grow. “Your angst is your liberation. Where your resistance and angst is highest is your greatest dividend for your own development and where you find why you’re here and what’s gonna be your greatest service for the world’s needs,” MacNaughton says.

Enjoyed this post? Subscribe to my newsletter for powerful tools to create a life that inspires you.

March 2, 2018
Millennials, Don’t Reinvent The Wheel: Why You Don’t Need A Novel Business Idea To Be Successful

A common misbelief among entrepreneurs is that they’ve got to stumble across the “next big thing” in order to make it. Yet, what many fail to recognize is that generating a groundbreaking, never-before-seen idea isn’t always the best strategy.

When you introduce a new idea to the world, you face several barriers. You must convince people it’s relevant, address their concerns, overcome criticism, get it to take off, and most importantly, get it to stay relevant.

Doing this successfully can be incredibly challenging. Instead, why not select an idea that’s already working? When people already love something, the work has been done for you.

Aspiring entrepreneurs, you don’t need to reinvent the wheel. According to one successful founder, the only innovation you need to do may be putting your own spin on a classic idea.

Meet Nick Gray, the creator of Museum Hack, a company that leads museum tours in metropolitan cities. Here’s the catch: these tours are nothing like you’ve experienced before. They feature quirky guides, games, and gossip–which have earned the affection of clients like Google, Facebook, Spotify and Etsy.

I caught up with Gray about how he brought museum tours back in style on this week’s episode of Unconventional Life, “The Quickest Way To Get Started: Repackage What’s Working & Make It Your Own.”

Gray says he launched Museum Hack as a “rebellious idea that there had to be a better way” to do things. Since he was young, Gray has always been breaking the rules in the name of good business.

In college, his first business contracted high-end speakers from China and set up shop outside Wake Forest University under the name “Wake Speakers,” selling freshmen speakers that were supposedly sold with the University laptop. Wake Forest lawyers reached out to Gray complaining he couldn’t use the “Wake” name for an independent business–but not until Gray had already sold out of all his inventory for the year.

When Gray got started with museums, it was completely in character for him to do the unexpected. “From day one it was not a sophisticated tour,” he jokes. He began exposing the little-known secrets of museum artifacts, including how much they costed, whether they had been stolen or not, and what their juicy backstories were.

One day, a blogger wrote about what Gray was up to, and the next day, 1,300 people emailed him asking to join one of the tours. “I think that’s the singular moment where I was like, this is a really big deal,” Gray says.

Since then, Gray has moved on from being a one-man-show and expanded his museum tours to feature dozens of specially trained guides in New York City, San Francisco, Washington DC, and Chicago. Hundreds of raving reviews and lengthy wait lists allowed him to attract high-end clients and bring back museums to a tech-obsessed millennial generation.

What stands out about Gray’s success was that he didn’t need a million-dollar new idea. Instead, he started with what was already working–the $135 billionmuseum industry–and introduced a modern twist. Below, Gray shares how you can seriously profit from making a classic business idea your own.

1. Use aggressive marketing. In order to show people how you’re different from what they’ve seen before, you need to reset their expectations. A great way to do this is to use taglines that catch them off-guard and remain in their mind. Gray says he isn’t afraid to use what could be considered offensive language to appeal to his target market of millennials. His site reads, “This isn’t your grandmother’s museum tour.”

2. It’s all about how you package it. While Gray’s service of a museum tour wasn’t unique, the way he packaged it certainly was. People had never heard of a museum tour claiming to be sassy and subversive, sharing “details that the museum staff would never share with you because they might lose their jobs.” With creative repackaging, you can capture interest and give the impression of a brand new product or service your customers will be dying to experience.

3. Don’t be afraid of the spotlight. You’ll want to create as much noise from as many outlets as you can about your product or service. Getting attention shouldn’t be difficult if you decide to market with stand-out taglines and punchy, thought-provoking copy. To reach your target audience, you’ll need to know who they are from the inside out. Identify where their attention is directed–the kind of podcasts they listen to, the social media platforms they frequent, and the sites they visit–and make sure they see you there. One way to create buzz and potentially earn more testimonials is to give away samples of your product for free. This week, Gray is giving away two tickets to any Museum Hack tour in NYC, San Fran, and DC to listeners and readers of Unconventional Life. Learn more about it here.

Enjoyed this post? Subscribe to my newsletter for powerful tools to create a life that inspires you.

March 1, 2018
How To Become A Better Risk-Taker, From ‘Fail Better’ TEDx Speaker Lindy Norris

I recently read that 96% of businesses will fail within the first 10 years. But for such a universal occurrence, it’s surprising to me that failure has such a bad rap.

We’re often made to feel ashamed, embarrassed, or regretful of our mistakes and believe we must do everything in our power to ensure they don’t happen again.

The truth is, most of us aren’t willing to fail because the stakes are just too high. Failing could mean we get fired, lose thousands on an investment, jeopardize a relationship, or let others down.

By avoiding failure, you are missing out on the powerful teachings it has to offer. There’s a goldmine of bravery, resilience, and growth beneath failure, but only for those daring enough to dig.

But what if there was a way to fail that allowed us to access its riches with none of the risk?

One woman says there is. Meet Lindy Norris, a speaker and growth catalyst most-known for her Ted Talk “Fail Better,” where she exposes the hidden treasures of failure. She’s also a Marketing Magazine 30 Under 30 honoree and the founder of the nonprofit Athena Leadership.

Norris shares how to become a student in failure’s classroom on the latest episode of Unconventional Life, “How To Heal Your Relationship To Failure Forever.”

Norris’ first major run-in with failure took place when she moved across the continent from Canada to San Francisco to pursue an MBA program. After spending just a few days in the program, she realized it wasn’t right for her and decided to head home empty-handed.

Back in Canada, she found herself confused, disappointed, and unclear what to do next. All of the effort she put into applying for her MBA had seemingly been a complete waste.

To add insult to injury, she did the same thing a second time by trying to go back for a different MBA with no success. But rather than pity herself, Norris did something unexpected: she looked deeper into the failure and opened herself up to its teachings.

What she learned was that she was destined for something different. The deeper she inquired, the more clear became her calling to spread awareness about failure to the world — beginning with her Ted Talk about failing better.

“Look at [failure] from a development perspective, figure out how you can develop resilience through it and come closer to what you really want to do,” she says.

Norris’ willingness to confront her setbacks has molded her into a fearless risk-taker with an appetite for failure. Now, she’s dedicated her life’s work to creating the same results for others.

“It’s okay to change your mind, it’s okay to follow what really fulfills you, what your passions are… there’s points when we realize that what we originally envisioned for ourselves isn’t what we want to do anymore. That’s totally okay — changing your business, changing your mind, deciding to take a different direction is totally okay,” Norris says.

Below, check out the different ways you can make failure your friend without having to risk it all. By flexing your failure muscle, you’ll become more adept at learning from mistakes and more confident to take risks that can benefit you.

1. Ask for a 10% discount one day where you usually buy your morning coffee. It seems like a simple thing to ask, but it’s bound to make you (and the cashier) feel a bit uncomfortable. By asking, there’s a lot more to gain than just a few cents — you’ll reach a higher threshold of confidence and overcome a significant social barrier. Remember, the worst they can say is no.

2. Sit next to someone on a non-crowded bus, train, or subway. We tend to leave plenty of extra room between ourselves and strangers, especially when there’s no shortage of space. Are you bold enough to do it anyways and reclaim friendliness for creepiness? (Bonus points for striking up a conversation).

3. Publicly state your biggest goal. Tell as many friends and family members about it as you can, and be 100% honest. By sharing your biggest goal, you risk a very painful and very public failure. You’ll be challenged to be accountable for your goals and to make peace with the possibility of missing the mark.

4. Share something personal to your social network. Facebook is a great outlet — but what if you don’t get any likes? The benefit is you’ll learn to share openly without attachment to how people receive it. Sharing for the sake of sharing, because it’s important to you, is a huge win.

5. Speak up to your boss about something you don’t like. Many of us try to suck up to our bosses and pretend things are fine because they have power over us. This time, dare to speak up about something that’s bothering you to reclaim your voice. If you are the boss, try giving totally honest feedback to an employee.

Enjoyed this post? Subscribe to my newsletter for powerful tools to create a life that inspires you.

March 1, 2018
Coach Mark Lack On Why Finding Your Life Purpose Is Seriously Misunderstood

We’re highly complex, self-aware, emotionally attuned beings, and we desire more out of life than just living.

It’s not enough to simply go through the motions of getting a job, settling down, having kids, and retiring at a “reasonable” age anymore. We aren’t willing to be a cog in a machine — we want to contribute to something meaningful and significant that is larger than ourselves.

That’s where all the buzz about “finding your purpose” comes from. The term has a rating of 100 (out of 100) according to Google Trends, making it one of the most frequently and consistently searched queries.

However, despite the wealth of information available, finding one’s purpose somehow remains hopelessly misunderstood.

Mark Lack, speaker, peak-performance coach, and bestselling author of “Shorten The Gap: Shortcuts To Success And Happiness” claims that’s because we’ve lost sight of the foundation of purpose. He’s identified two fundamental components of purpose that the majority of the world appears to be blind to.

I caught up with Lack about the path to purpose on this week’s episode of Unconventional Life: “Why Self-Mastery Is The Quickest Route To Success.”

Lack is a pro in the world of self-development. He’s invested over $500k into courses, consultations, coachings, books, and seminars in the quest to become his greatest version.

His drive stems from his elite paintballing career during his teenage years. By age 18, he had earned over $300k in revenue from tournaments and traveled the world extensively, achieving celebrity status in the sport.

Thereafter, Lack shifted his focus inward for success. He used the money he earned from paintball to finance his thirst for personal development, and now considers it his best investment to date.

“Get back in touch with self-mastery because it’s the one thing that never goes away. You’re the one person you’re stuck with forever,” Lack says.

Lack’s intensive internal work has resulted in a deep understanding of himself and his true purpose. He believes that purpose “should be built on the pillars of growth and contribution.”

Below, Lack shares how you can build your life upon these two foundational pillars to realize your own life purpose.

Focus on bettering you. “The reason you don’t have any passion right now and don’t know what your purpose is is because you’ve lost track of the one thing you should always be passionate about… which is bettering you,” Lack says. Commit to your own growth and the growth you want to see in the world will follow, because you will finally be empowered to create it.

Cut out the distractions. Figure out what you need most in your life to put yourself on the path to getting what you really want. Maybe it’s improved health, relationships, time management, or emotional mindset. Once you’ve identified your greatest need, stick to it and stop trying to focus on solving several needs at once. “Stop trying to create a new product and focus on what you really need,” Lack jokes. Do just one thing at a time exceptionally well and you’ll find laser-beam productivity and growth.

Take one action each day. It can be overwhelming trying to tackle something as lofty and abstract as feeling purposeful. So instead, take concrete steps each day that will accumulate to that result over time. Lack recommends to take one action in the area of health, happiness and wealth daily. It doesn’t need to be big, but it needs to be meaningful to you. Consider prioritizing nutrition and exercise, recreation, personal affirmation, and adding value to others.

Serve something bigger than yourself. Contribution is essential to feeling like your life has purpose. Identify a cause that you care about and pour yourself into it. Often the most meaningful causes are the ones with personal significance. You might volunteer for this cause in your local community or leverage a movement online to begin making an impact. “As long as I’m serving someone or something bigger than myself, I know I’ll be happy, and I know I’ll be moving down the path to ultimate success,” Lack says.

Enjoyed this post? Subscribe to my newsletter for powerful tools to create a life that inspires you.

March 1, 2018
When To Walk Away From Your Job: 5 Tips From Olympian Kaylin Richardson

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, over 2 million people are quitting their jobs each month, and that number is only growing.

On average millennials will change jobsat least 4 times by the time they are 32, nearly twice as much as the previous generation. Knowing when it’s time to quit is crucial to long-term success.

Seth Godin, author of the best-selling book “The Dip,” says “The time to look for a new job is when you don’t need one. The time to switch jobs is before it feels comfortable.”

So how do you know when it is time to make the next move?

Just ask two-time Olympic skier Kaylin Richardson. At the peak of her career, after competing in her second Olympic games she decided to quit ski racing at the age of 25.

Richardson shares her experience on this week’s episode of Unconventional Life, “Recognizing When it’s Time to Quit Your Job and Make Your Next Move.”

Richardson had spent the past 16 years of her life racing — traveling around the world year-round to practice on the very best terrain, bypassing going to college, competing in her first Olympic games and slowly collecting victories to qualify for her second Olympic event.

After competing in the Women’s Alpine Skiing race, she had actualized the goal of a lifetime. Like many who have finally reached the top, she asked herself, “What’s next?”

“When I finished Vancouver it was such a cool experience,” Richardson says. “I hadn’t said it out loud to anyone but I thought, ‘I think I am done with ski racing’… I was still skiing relatively fast but I didn’t have that drive. If you are going to do something that is that taxing, that takes that much time, that much mental strength you really have to want it and I saw that in my teammates, they wanted it more than I did.”

The following spring Richardson announced her retirement. She wasn’t sure what would unfold for her in the transition and knew that once she made the decision she had to move forward.

By leaving ski racing at her peak Richardson was able to leverage her success to make her next big career moves: landing television appearances, becoming a ski racing commentator on NBC, and picking up sponsors like Helly Hansen and Colorado ski company Icelantic to back her in her pursuit of backcountry skiing.

Richardson shares, “I had this unformed vision. And what it really came down to was that I wanted to ski for me. There were so many avenues I still wanted to explore. I still had passion for the sport I was just unattached to the form.”

Are you stuck between knowing if it is the right time to quit? Below, Richardson shares these five telltale indicators that it’s time to move on.

You don’t have the same passion anymore. Your heart just isn’t in it in the way it used to be. No matter how hard you try, you can’t recover the same feelings of excitement and joy you had at the beginning. Work tends to feel less purposeful and more like a grind — and you’ve started fantasizing about alternatives.

The returns aren’t worth the cost. You’re giving it your best effort but the rewards just don’t feel worth it. Recognize that the trials are there to test how bad you want it — and if pushing through just doesn’t feel worthwhile, it’s a sign it’s time to do something else.

You aren’t growing. The rate at which you used to be growing was exponential, but now, you’re feeling stagnant. You’re not being challenged, you aren’t working towards any real goals, and your job feels monotonous.

Your performance is suffering. You’re not at your peak anymore, and frankly, you probably couldn’t will yourself to be if you tried. There’s no denying you just don’t have the drive that you used to. You’ve been drawing things out and you know your energy would be better put to use somewhere else.

You’re ready for something bigger. You feel like you’re being called for something higher, and as much as you want it to be what you’re currently doing, it just can’t provide that for you. It may be painful or scary to let go of what feels familiar, but on the other side of fear is always something great. In order to make room for what you really want, you must clear out space by letting go.

Enjoyed this post? Subscribe to my newsletter for powerful tools to create a life that inspires you.

March 1, 2018