Dissatisfaction in our interpersonal relationships often spills over into our work. Especially when it is with our managers or coworkers.

I remember the first time I was a part of a big sales team my freshman year in college. I dreaded going into work and attending company functions, and avoided awkward encounters with coworkers at all costs. As a new face in the company, and someone quickly climbing the ranks as the Top Manager in Colorado, many of my coworkers had trouble welcoming me. I was constantly being undermined or seen as a threat and found myself in conflict with others.

That summer, everything shifted. The change was so significant that my team went from earning $1M to $6M in a span of just six months. Why? We started focusing on our relationships, welcoming different perspectives and seeing each other as more than just coworkers, but as people, which made executing easy.

Studies show a clear link between strong employee ties and a business’s overall output. As team bonds strengthen, productivity and sales increase—31 to 37 percent on average, says the Harvard Business Review.

So how do you build stronger relationships with your coworkers?

Meet Sean Wilkinson, John Thompson, and Jordan Myska Allen, the founders of Circling Europe, a relational practice that has grown in over 20 countries in just the last few years through in-person workshops and online courses that foster deeper presence, self-awareness, and connection. Tens of thousands worldwide practice circling, including many big Silicon Valley tech companies as their secret weapon in working through conflict and building trust.

“The basis of the practice is it’s an interpersonal meditation—trying to make room for whatever’s present in the connection in the moment,” says Thompson.

This week on the Unconventional Life Podcast, Wilkinson, Thompson, and Myska Allen share how you can master the five pillars of circling in order to build rock-solid relationships at work that promote productivity and job satisfaction.

1. Be Committed Through Connection.

While it’s often easier to just disconnect or hit the “eject” button when you’re in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, there is tremendous value in weathering the situation through the discomfort. You’ll find that in your willingness to be with discomfort, you’ll grow more connected to others.

When a situation arises that has you feeling uncomfortable, wanting to leave, or modify it somehow, choose to stay in the situation exactly how it is. For example, if you’re experiencing conflict with a coworker, don’t try to appease the other person. Instead, allow the other person and yourself to feel hurt, frustrated, or whatever is real. Use these emotions as a gateway to grow closer to one another. In feeling, hearing, and witnessing the other person’s authentic expression, you create trust and safety in your relationship. Conflict becomes easier; instead of avoiding it, it becomes welcome terrain and an inquiry for deeper connection.

2. Trust Your Experience.

We live in a world of “shoulds”—how we should act in a given situation, what’s appropriate, and how we should feel. As a result, we often feel conflicted when how we actually feel isn’t how we think we’re supposed to.

Wilkinson, Thompson, and Myska-Allen recommend letting go completely of the notion of “should,” as it often prevents your real emotions from being expressed or having permission to be there. Instead, trust that what you’re feeling is exactly what you’re supposed to be feeling. Allow yourself to express authentically and you will allow others to connect to you more intimately.

3. Be With The Other Person In Their World.

Psychology tells us that empathy and understanding build bridges between ourselves and others. In imagining yourself in the other person’s shoes, you acknowledge their experience and demonstrate care for them.

Pay attention to your coworkers’ expressions, gestures, and body language when you interact with them. In noticing the subtleties of their expression, you will become more attuned to them, enhancing nonverbal communication and promoting relational closeness.

4. Own Your Experience.

Take responsibility for your emotions and in the same way, hold others responsible for their emotions. Recognize that you can’t “make” anyone else feel a certain way, but rather how they feel is a choice. The more you can take responsibility for what you are feeling and name it in it’s most accurate form without blaming others the more powerful your communication will be .

Oftentimes we hold back from sharing the truth of how we feel with others because we don’t want to cause them pain or we want to avoid conflict. But withholding things denies you both the opportunity of genuine connection. In a work environment, feeling unable to share everything with your team members contributes to distance, lack of cohesion, and ultimately a team that is less effective. Commit to being honest with your coworkers and create an environment where everyone feels safe to speak up, especially when it’s hard. Cultivate the art of being both honest and sensitive by sharing your truth in a way that is respectful and considerate.

5. Stay At The Level of Sensation.

Wilkinson, Thompson, and Myska Allen say the gold standard for communication occurs at the level of the body. Focus on how you feel. Ask yourself, what is going on in my body in this moment?

If you feel tightness in your chest when you’re interacting with someone, use that as a cue that there may be more to explore with the other person. Be honest about your experience, and invite the other person into your world. In staying in your body, you’ll remain connected to your emotions and be able to experience the flourishing of your relationships on a visceral level.

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This article originally appeared on Forbes.com

When I was 19 I had my first and only 9-5 job. Despite being in college I convinced this sales recruiter to hire me on during the summer on a 60k a year starting salary, earning myself as their youngest employee.

Each morning I would get up in my business dress and drive an hour in traffic each way, only to sit at my desk for eight hours amongst people that were at least ten years older than me. Needless to say I quit after two weeks and didn’t even see my first paycheck. You couldn’t have paid me enough to stay.

At the time I didn’t know I was making the #1 mistake that most Millennials today are making when entering the workforce.

It’s 2017, and millions of Millennials are embarking upon their first, second, or even third job. Job hopping has become the new normal, with the average worker switching jobs four times before age 32.

So what gives? Why are so many of us fed up with our jobs and unable to find the right fit?

One man who’s revolutionizing the way approach work and relate to our jobs may have the answer.

Meet Eric Termuende, the founder of DRYVER Group, a consultant company that facilitates team development and higher bottom lines. He’s also an international speaker and the author of the book Rethink Work, named one of the best personal finance and economic books of 2016 by Financial Post.

Termuende’s message is to “Rethink Work,” or to approach work like “it’s not something that you have to do, but something you get to do.”

According to Termuende, there’s more to work than a secure salary. In fact, our jobs are the third biggest determinant of our happiness. But with most of us seeking employment on the basis of a prestigious job title and a comfortable income, we’re making the #1 mistake in the book—we’re forgetting to select a job that will bring us lasting happiness.

“We need to be rethinking what it means to be working and enabling people to find employment based on fit, belonging, something bigger.” Termuende says. “Find the thing that puts a smile on your face as wide as possible.”

On the latest episode of the Unconventional Life Podcast, Termuende shares how you can avoid making the mistake of choosing a job for the wrong reasons and find a job that you’ll love for the long-run.

Define Success On Your Own Terms

“To be successful, society says you have to have a lot of money, a lot of material, a big title, and a lot of education,” Termuende says. “ I don’t think that’s not right, but I think your definition of success could be a lot different than mine. As we get into rethinking work, we have to get into redefining what it means to be successful for us.”

Create your own definition of success based on what’s important to you. Focus on the lifestyle and the day-to-day experience you want to have. If spending quality time with loved ones is important to you, you might apply for jobs with flexible hours and the freedom to take time off. If you value social connection and relationships, narrow your selection to jobs with a tight-knit company culture.

“If we can do a job that enables us to live the way we want to live, then I think we can all be successful,” Termuende says.

Speak With An Insider

You can only learn so much about your potential job through a job description. What’s often missing is the human element of what it’s actually like to work inside a given company.

To figure out if a job is really the right fit for you, meet with someone who is currently working in the job position you want. Have a 30 minute conversation with them and ask them key questions like, what’s the commute like? How often do you get to talk to your supervisor? How much free time do you have?

Your goal is to get a feel for the lived experience of the job. Beyond the job title and the salary, will your job provide you with enriching experiences and relationships that make showing up to work everyday feel like something you get to do rather than something you have to do?

Be Choosey

In applying for jobs, the championing mentality is often to apply to dozens of jobs in bulk, altering as little as you can in a generic cover letter or resume. The problem with this approach is that it frames your job as something that chooses you rather than something you choose.

Termuende recommends being selective and only applying to jobs that meet a specific criteria defined by you. On a blank sheet of paper, write down two headers, one “must have,” and one “can’t have.” In the “must have” column, list qualities your job needs to have in order for you to feel fulfilled inside of it, like a diverse employee base. In the “can’t have” column, write down qualities your job can’t have, like work on Saturdays.

In being choosey, your job search will narrow, making it easier to find the best possible fit for you and avoid making compromises.

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This article originally appeared on Forbes.com