Ep413: Dismantling Silence & Rebuilding Courage with Trauma-Informed Expert and Advocate for Survivors of Sexual Violence, Nicole Bedera, Ph.D.

Nicole Bedera, Ph.D., has spent her career navigating one of the most challenging terrains of modern society—sexual violence. With her forthcoming book On the Wrong Side: How Universities Protect Perpetrators and Betray Survivors of Sexual Violence, Nicole is not only shedding light on the systemic failures of institutions but also offering a roadmap for how we, as a society, can better support survivors. Her journey, insights, and commitment to this cause have made her a trailblazer in the fight for justice and healing.


From Advocate to Sociologist: A Life Shaped by Purpose

Nicole’s path into advocacy began at 18, during a pivotal moment in her life when she realized how pervasive sexual violence was among the women in her life. Her decision to become a victim advocate was driven by a desire to provide immediate support to survivors.

“I liked being there to support people in the moment,” Nicole shared. “It’s a job filled with connection and, surprisingly, laughter amidst the pain.”

However, Nicole’s curiosity about the broader systemic issues led her to pursue sociological research. She wanted to answer the haunting questions survivors often face: Why did this happen to me? Why does it keep happening? Her research would reveal that the problem was much larger than individual perpetrators—it was rooted in societal structures that perpetuate violence and silence survivors.


The Sociology of Sexual Violence

One of Nicole’s most groundbreaking insights is the role social structures play in shaping survivors’ trauma. She explained that even in isolated incidents, the patterns of sexual violence remain strikingly similar, indicating a larger systemic problem.

“When a bunch of individual people are having the same experience, it’s not about their behavior,” she said. “It’s about the social structure that’s so powerful it dictates how violence unfolds.”

Nicole’s work also highlights a shocking reality: the way survivors are treated post-assault often causes more harm than the assault itself. From dismissive police officers to unsupportive institutions, these secondary traumas can devastate survivors, stripping them of autonomy and deepening their pain.


Unraveling Myths: Everything You Think You Know About Sexual Violence Is Wrong

Nicole is on a mission to challenge deeply ingrained myths about sexual violence. One of the most pervasive misconceptions is that trauma is solely caused by physical injuries. In reality, Nicole points out, the psychological impact of losing autonomy is far more damaging.

“Most survivors don’t have physical injuries,” she said. “The real trauma comes from someone using their body against their will.”

Another myth is the prevalence of false allegations. “False accusations are exceedingly rare,” Nicole emphasized. “Yet this narrative persists, reinforcing a culture of disbelief and victim-blaming.”

Through her research and advocacy, Nicole aims to replace these harmful narratives with evidence-based truths, empowering survivors and their allies to foster real change.


Lessons in Supporting Survivors

Nicole believes that supporting survivors doesn’t require expertise, only empathy and intentionality. She offers simple yet profound advice:

  1. Validate Their Experience: “Start with, ‘I’m sorry this happened to you,’” Nicole advises.
  2. Respect Their Autonomy: Survivors need to regain a sense of control. Ask them what they need rather than telling them what to do.
  3. Offer Practical Help: From bringing dinner to researching next steps, small acts of support can make a world of difference.

“Survivors need people who won’t judge them and will simply be there,” she said.


Why Institutions Fail Survivors

Much of Nicole’s research focuses on how universities handle sexual violence. Her findings are both eye-opening and alarming.

“Expulsion for perpetrators is almost nonexistent,” Nicole revealed. “In most cases, the university makes the entire issue disappear before the perpetrator even knows they were accused.”

Victims, on the other hand, face severe consequences. They often report assaults because they feel unsafe, only to find that their academic and personal lives unravel further. Studies show that a third of women who report sexual violence in college drop out, often burdened with debt and without a degree.

“The stakes for survivors are immense, but institutions prioritize protecting their own reputations over offering real support,” Nicole said.


A Philosophy Rooted in Hope

Despite the grim realities of her work, Nicole remains hopeful. She believes in the power of collective action and systemic change.

“We can’t change every perpetrator,” she acknowledged. “But we can change how society responds to survivors. That’s where real hope lies.”

Nicole’s philosophy is simple yet profound: We all have a role to play in reducing the burden of sexual violence. By fostering empathy, challenging harmful norms, and holding institutions accountable, we can create a safer, more supportive world for survivors.


Looking Ahead: Building a Future Beyond Compliance

Nicole’s work doesn’t stop with her book. She’s the co-founder of Beyond Compliance Consulting, where she helps organizations create violence-free environments. The consulting practice is based on the idea that ending sexual violence isn’t just possible—it’s practical and achievable.

For those inspired by Nicole’s mission, she offers a final word of encouragement: “Healing and community are possible. You are not alone, and there is a whole world of support waiting for you.”


Win a Free Consultation with Nicole

Transform your organization into a safe, violence-free space with a personalized consultation from Nicole Bedera, Ph.D., co-founder of Beyond Compliance Consulting. Whether you’re a workplace, school, or community group, this session will equip you with actionable strategies to support survivors and prevent sexual violence.

More of Nicole:

Hi, I’m Jules
I’m Jules, founder of Unconventional Life, born from a dream after a near-death experience seven years ago. As a 2x TEDx speaker, global event host, multi-millionaire entrepreneur, and artist, I’m passionate about guiding you to unleash your soul’s greatest gifts. Together with my two sisters, I’ve expanded UL’s mission by co-creating Pink Lemon Agency, a creative marketing agency designed to help bring bold visions to life.
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